Id like to find this Lulu Lemon bitch and give her a piece of mind. Those pants don’t always tell the truth mam. Rain fucking check please and while we are getting to it, don’t you hate when you’re at the gym and you focus on one? Then you see about four more targets walking out the door that you didn’t see because you were looking at the wrong thing. Four walking out, before you ever get to walk up and grab their pussy. Hey, its okay it’s at a gym, and it’s just locker room talk! Pretty sure that’s assault, but I guess that is based on how much money you have. Now its a ninth woman and more emails and this person lied and this person is a pig and that person is a criminal and hey, one question? Who the fuck cares? We have North Crazy with possible nukes. Think that guy in Iran likes us? Youre a special kind of stupid and next you’re going to tell me that Putin likes us too. Hey it’s not like terrorist attacks are happening all over the place and people are just walking into public and shooting and stabbing people or anything. Come on, that would be crazy. It’s the guns, it’s the video games, its t.v. but it sure isn’t my or my kids fault for losing his shit and shooting a place up. Our problem, as is with the two people we have loosely chosen to elect is a very simple one. Lack of accountability. Yeah it is that simple, going to give a black guy 7-10 for rape, I don’t give a fuck about the lily-white kids like mes future, he gets the same. Want it to stop? Stop passing the buck, make it our problem, because whether you want to believe it or not, it is our problem. Our problem is that we can’t agree on anything, so we fight about everything, and cant get anything done, damn those yoga pants. I fail to believe that if Hillary gets elected, that world war three starts, I don’t believe it will end if Trump does either, lets all get real. The church said it was over when Obama go elected, the world was supposed to end at Y2K and yet here we are still doing the one thing we always get right in 2016. Killing each other, ill let you think about that one for a little bit.
Monthly Archives: October 2016
I Lied, And Boy It Was A Fucking Whopper!
What’s the difference between me and you. As the Dr. Dre song would go, the difference is, I am a little older now, and I fucking know better this time. This time wont be like last time, this time there will be something behind it. This time I lied, I lied to you and I lied to myself, I talked a good one. I made it okay to give up, it got hard and I tried to do everything I could to make it seem like I didn’t want it anymore. I talked a big game, but what has brought me to my knees again, is not being honest with myself. Take this to heart, if it changes you, chase it until you catch it and better yet. Don’t let it get away in the first place and you wont have to chase. But if you do fuck up like me, don’t lie to yourself like I did, realize what mattered and fight for that shit until your last breath. So many others can’t, so many others are dead from cancer, or dead from war, or dead from whatever far too soon. You get one real shot in this life, you piss away little ones that come and go, but we all get a shot. If you aren’t doing the things right now to put yourself in the position to take that shot, then who do you have to blame when it passes you by? Life moves fast, time is the biggest son of a bitch there is, whoppers are made to eat, in burger or chocolate form, they aren’t meant to waste your life away telling yourself one thing to make it okay. When you know damn well from the jump that it isn’t okay. Too many times we know better and do it anyway and then it is poor us. Poor me stops today, you saw the move, you put yourself in the position to make it and then you gave up and lied to yourself. You convinced yourself that easier was okay, you keep doing that and you wont have to lie to yourself, you will lose what you are scared to death of losing. Sink or swim, win or lose, you have to jump, here will only keep you here, the move has been waiting on you. So at the end of the day, is it whopper? Or have you finally figured out its worth it?
Trying To Hold On!
Versus trying to move on, not sure which is easier, but at the present time they are pulling me in two different directions. It would seem they are pulling me apart at the seams and I am stuck in neutral. So much more out there in front of me if I choose to take a step forward, still torn apart by a past I thought I had dealt with. Key word there and there is always one, THOUGHT. Now my thoughts race until five-thirty in the morning and these sleepless nights have turned to Zombie days, hell, I might not even need a Halloween costume if this keeps up. What point does holding on sink us? I know its sinking me, but letting go whether it is somebody we loved or somebody who has left this earth, it is never easy. Holding on destroys you I am coming to find out. Holding on to your past demons, your past addictions and those don’t have to be drugs, they can be people or situations. Moving on is one of those things in life that hurts so bad, that you know in the end it will be worth it. I will leave you with this to think about. “I’ve dealt with my ghosts and ive faced all my demons, finally content with a past I regret. I’ve found you find strength in your moments of weakness, for once I’m at peace with myself. I’ve been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long, I’m moving on. I’ve lived in this place and I know all the faces, each one is different, but their always the same. They mean me no harm, but its time that I face it, they’ll never allow me to change. But I never dreamed home would end up where I don’t belong. I’m moving on, at last I can see, life has been patiently waiting for me. And I know there’s no guarantees, but I’m not alone, there comes a time in everyone’s life, when all you can see are the years passing by, and I have made up my mind that those days are gone. I sold what I could and packed what I couldn’t. Stopped to fill up on my way out-of-town. Ive loved like I should, but lived like I shouldn’t, I had to lose everything to find out. Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road.” Maybe the boys from Rascal Flatts are on to something…….
I Feel Like….
The rapper in one of the last battles in 8 Mile, when Eminem acts like he’s handing him a pen and pad and tells him to go home and wait until something dope hits you then write it down. Sometimes it feels like it is all coming down around you, but when you step back and reassess the situation, you see that you damn well might have just dodged a bullet. Sometimes what is taken away from us is for our own good, because we don’t want to give it up no matter how bad or wrong it is for us. Sometimes its substance, sometimes it is running to another person, sometimes it is just simply the fear of being alone. I feel like something is close, can’t honestly tell if it is something good, or if I am approaching the end. You start to get old, you start to let one too many chances pass by, you start realizing you had opportunities you should have seized. Instead, you let life live you, you let it put its hands around your throat and squeeze the life out of you. And in turn, any relationship you try to make work blows up in your face, because it is based on the nothing that you have let yourself become, so I guess whats left is this. ” I believe every lie that I ever told, paid for every heart that I ever stole. I played my cards and I didn’t fold, well it aint that hard when you’ve got soul. Somewhere I heard that life is a test, I’ve been through the worst, but I still give my best. God made my mold different from the rest, then he broke that mold so I know I’m blessed. Stand up now and face the sun, wont hide my tail and turn and run, its time to do what must be done!”
While You Were Busy Whinning About Shit That Never Mattered!
Guess what? The world kept right on moving without you. Not letting go has led you nowhere and now look at you. You got used, you got lied too and you got chewed up and spit out. Of course, there’s always that stupid little catch thing. That thing that says none of it had to go down this way if you’d of just taken care of business in the first place. And now its years gone by and time lost. Its hopes and dreams you had tied to things that have moved on. It’s like that Jay-Z remake of that Sting song, nobody stays forever young, it’s the only thing in life besides death that is guaranteed. And as I approach what could very well be that halfway point of my life, I look at one grand parent left, I look at my parents getting older, I look at everything I wanted and was going to accomplish and go what the fuck is the matter with me. Why? Still the one question that I have no answers to, it haunts me, it keeps me up until four in the morning. It confuses my mind into thinking this is okay, I use it to trap myself here, because here is a whole hell of a lot easier than what I have to do out there to make things right, even close to right again. Now I hear songs or I see a gift, or smell a certain type of perfume and that is all I have left of a past I knew I wanted so bad. I’ll never know if it wanted me just as badly or if it was all in my mind, because I never got my shit together long enough to grab hold of it. Figure out who and what matter to you in this life, and figure out how to hold on, because that’s the biggest battle. “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child. But when I became a man, I put childish things away.” It is a passage from Corinthians in the bible. “What matters more than the mistakes you make, is what you learn from them.” That one is T.I. guess it is time to see if I have learned anything. Because everybody is tired of listening to me whine about the who, the what and the why of all that was done to me. Their all waiting to see if I have learned anything…..
Bin-Laden To Save Are Sins!
Never thought I would say that, but he won. We have changed everything, we have created a department of Homeland Security! Feel any safer? Better yet, how about the business man who’s fucked up more times than I have and had to have daddy bail him out? Then there’s the geriatric criminal who with just the look on her face you see half joker from batman and half, boy are you fucked America! These are thee choices we have accepted, it’s now ISIS, and its school shootings and random shootings and five-hundred dead in Chicago. It’s the guns though. Because they didn’t have them twenty years ago either! Yeah I get Britain has given up guns and they have less violence, but that will never happen here. But maybe it is time we all look in the mirror. Maybe we stop making it everybody else problem but our own and start taking action. We used to be a great nation, we used to be a great world. But it is gang rapes in India, children missing all over Africa, Mexican’s dying by the tons because of Cartel violence. Believe in God like me or not, I will say this, something is coming. We have a choice as to what that something is, Bin-Laden to save are sins, or fuck it, maybe this time we win. This time excuses and bullshit go out the window, this time we wont accept it like we have had to before. This time we take that rage and as the band said, we stand in front of the machine the 8 year presidential cycle that happens over and over again. Doesn’t matter who it is standing up there, they bring their own bullshit and now what we have allowed to continue, well, has continued. Are you prepared to give more that you might get back? Are ready to let go of what you don’t want to, so you can start something new?
They Make A Pill For Everything Else!
Dick doesn’t work, there’s a pill for that. High cholesterol, yep got that covered too! Sneeze one too many times in a day, and I bet they will come up for a pill for that to! Too bad they don’t have one for heartbreak and another one to get back all the years of your life that you look back on now wasted! No pill for the pain, not for the pain inflicted on you or that you inflicted! They call them lessons I guess, but one thing is for sure, some lessons truly are harder than others! Some lessons cut you too the bone, sometimes you never even see it coming. When words coming out of someone’s mouth aren’t backed with action, run, run as fast as you can! Because all the words in the world they can come up with can’t hide inaction and if they don’t care, you have to care more about yourself and run! It’s closing time, it’s gut check and see what you are made of time!
Trying To Live In The Past, Addicted To Your Lies!!!!
You usually get burned when you try to go back and live in the past. And when you do get burned? Nobody to blame but yourself, nobody wants to hear how it blew up in your face again, at least they aren’t saying I told you so. Some things in this life are better left alone, boy I wish I would have known that three weeks ago. Hell, maybe I did and I just did the American thing and looked the other way because I didn’t want to see it. The bad movie that I keep watching play out over and over again that has become my life is all because I am addicted to my lies. It makes it easier, until in the end when it doesn’t and everything that you want starts to slip away and your slipping away with it. Trying and effort and all that bullshit don’t seem to come into play anymore, its more like now or never, do or fucking die. Closer to the never and the die part than I am the other two for sure, dying inside a little more each day with all the bullshit I let go on. All the bullshit it would take a second to change, but as I said it is easier to let it go on until it isn’t. Until it blows up in your face at the worst time, like a mic left on or a few missing emails. Funny how a presidential election has come down to a sound bite and emails. You read Facebook and all these people are so passionate about it and have all these comments, but they too are addicted to their lies. Because when it comes to actually doing something about it, crickets, you wont here a peep out of them! I can’t tell where I am at in my head anymore, unsteady wouldn’t even come close. I feel like that Eminem song, but I am not sure I the monsters are friends or foes! I’m not really sure of anything at the moment, trying to live in the past, once again has brought me to my knees. I guess it all comes down to the guts to get back up and never go there again no matter how bad it hurts. Its might be time to leave the past alone, it might be time to realize what was just done too you, have a little pride and burn that bridge!
Ashes, Ashes…..
We all fall down as the nursery rhyme goes. Dust, ashes are all that’s left at this point, all that needs to be done is to call in the janitor and sweep whats left of my heart and my life off the floor! Sometimes you need that fast car that Tracey Chapman is talking about. “You have a fast car, I want a ticket to anywhere. Maybe we make a deal, maybe together we can get somewhere, any place is better than here.” She would go on and say, “leave tonight, or live and die this way.” Slowly dying inside tonight, over what was just lost and what lies in front of me. We make choices in this life and we have to live with the consequences, sometimes it can’t be fixed. Sometimes no matter how badly you want it, when you look back all you see is ashes and no matter how hard you try to spark a flame, there is just nothing left. Sometimes the damage is too much, sometimes you just squeeze the life out of it. What you know for sure was once there and the brightest thing in your life, what you had built your hopes and dreams on has flamed out. Actions were taking on both sides as they always are, and some battles just cant be won, if you don’t leave tonight you live and die this way fighting a war you can’t win. It’s been another year, you said it was going to be different this time, but addicted to your lies, here you sit again in the same situation. Check that, worse off than you were, a year older. It’s not when are you going to figure it out that they are asking, no now it is this. Is he ever going to figure it the fuck out, because we have watched him live and now slowly die this way for a long time. There is no fast car out of here, no quick answer, just things to medicate the pain and mask it for a little while. Until you wake up one day and realize that pain is all you have!
Hold On
For one more day like the song, for one more chance at redemption. It isn’t over, it’s just beginning, just look around, somebody has it worse than you. And that somebody isn’t sitting around complaining about it, their holding on to the hope that it can get better! Something you quit doing a long time ago. You let go, you gave up because they gave up in you or they said it wasn’t possible and now your brain is scrambled with possibilities! The why you can and the why you can’ts, the missed opportunities and the sitting on your hands still wondering why. We don’t always get the why stupid, why did I survive a car wreck I shouldn’t have, just to piss it all away. Why can bury you, why can bring you to your knees, but why is a tricky thing, because why not the fuck me. Why not get pissed off this time, why not hold on a little longer instead of quitting on yourself because that’s easier. How about not for anybody but yourself this time, how about you do it for the right reasons! How about you change everything this time and come back a better you, how about you figure out a different way and get it done this time! Because aren’t you tired of just holding on? Aren’t you tired of this? Most importantly, aren’t you tired of letting everyone down when you have all the potential in the world? Just some Tuesday night thoughts while fighting through the pain…
Lethal When Wagging, Confessions Of And American Idiot! 