Guess what? The world kept right on moving without you. Not letting go has led you nowhere and now look at you. You got used, you got lied too and you got chewed up and spit out. Of course, there’s always that stupid little catch thing. That thing that says none of it had to go down this way if you’d of just taken care of business in the first place. And now its years gone by and time lost. Its hopes and dreams you had tied to things that have moved on. It’s like that Jay-Z remake of that Sting song, nobody stays forever young, it’s the only thing in life besides death that is guaranteed. And as I approach what could very well be that halfway point of my life, I look at one grand parent left, I look at my parents getting older, I look at everything I wanted and was going to accomplish and go what the fuck is the matter with me. Why? Still the one question that I have no answers to, it haunts me, it keeps me up until four in the morning. It confuses my mind into thinking this is okay, I use it to trap myself here, because here is a whole hell of a lot easier than what I have to do out there to make things right, even close to right again. Now I hear songs or I see a gift, or smell a certain type of perfume and that is all I have left of a past I knew I wanted so bad. I’ll never know if it wanted me just as badly or if it was all in my mind, because I never got my shit together long enough to grab hold of it. Figure out who and what matter to you in this life, and figure out how to hold on, because that’s the biggest battle. “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child. But when I became a man, I put childish things away.” It is a passage from Corinthians in the bible. “What matters more than the mistakes you make, is what you learn from them.” That one is T.I. guess it is time to see if I have learned anything. Because everybody is tired of listening to me whine about the who, the what and the why of all that was done to me. Their all waiting to see if I have learned anything…..