Ashes To Ashes We All….

Fall down, and by the looks of things chose to stay down! We chose to look the other way and blame it on the woman. We chose to look the other way and elect the biggest jackass in history, yeah I voted for him too! Choke, gasp for air, hard for me to swallow that one. But we the people of these divided states have chosen to take. Chose to sit back and let hate win, I’m sorry, we’re better than that. Let sexual assault become okay and even defended it, I’m sorry, we’re better than that!  We have laid down and accepted it as business as usual, where are the leaders? Where are the real heroes? My favorite rapper 2pacp used to say all the time, “ I don’t want to change the world, but I want to spark the mind that does!” I want We the people to quit talking about change and start enacting change! Because we the people are better than that, we the people may have forgotten we have a voice. A voice can only be silenced if we the people choose to let it be! Ashes to ashes we all fall down, or do we finally stand our ground……

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We Defeated Roy Moore, Can We Defeat Our Own Demons!

I answer that question with a resounding no, demons 1 million, me a bit fat zero. A big fat zero in so many ways, so many chances, so many chances pissed away. Now I’m forty, getting old and my act is getting old, I’m tired and everyone’s tired of the act. When you answer questions with excuses, you only draw out the inevitable! I know how this horror story ends, I fear I have let my life turn out this way one too many times! It was okay to lie, it bought me time to fix it. Until one lie turned into 17 lies and now it would seem there is no fixing any of this shit. Twenty years, I look back now and I wonder why I did any of it. Worse, looking for the answers as to why I didn’t do anything about it and all I’m left with is what’s looking back in the mirror! And what’s looking back in the you ask? I don’t have answer or clues anymore. I used to look into those eyes looking back at me and see confidence and possibilities. Now I look and see the end! I see demons winning, I see me losing and I see this tangled web I have weaved closing in on me! Roy Moore down, the question is am I down too, or does it just appear that way? Setbacks and fall downs are sometimes set ups for the best things in our lives. So remember that if your down, remember that when they count you out and say it isn’t possible, that’s when everything becomes possible……

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It’s Time To Consult Your Fears!

Who wins? What you are afraid of or you? Funny, what you are afraid of is failure and to this point all you have done is be a disappointment. Failure couldn’t be any worse than living another day this way. That’s the problem though, you are afraid of failure. Stay here and you aren’t exposed, take on your fear and who knows. That line that I believe is from Nelson Mandela that Samuel L. Jackson says in Coach Carter resonates with me now. “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. You playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people wont feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Some powerful shit right there, I have to get better with my language, coming to find that I have to get better with a lot of things. This I have decided for certain though. No longer will it continue like this, “what I allow will continue.” What I don’t allow can’t continue, fears are just this as I read somewhere once. “False Evidence Appearing Real,” True story, we are defeated by what might happen in our head, far before life ever beats us. Too many times we let what might happen keep us from what could happen. Quit living your life worrying about what might happen and could happen and just fucking make it happen. Life’s too short, what if I am wrong and there is no God and there is no Heaven? That means only two things are certain in this life, time marches on and you get a box at the end. Do you want to spend your days in fear of what might of happened, so you can talk about what you could have done? Damn, this jackass sure sounds a whole lot like me……

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Somewhere In The Middle Of These Twisted Apologies!

Twisted apologies that you use to justify it, they never have the answers you need behind them. They simply have become the same day over and over again, shits like groundhog day, no way out. No wonder why at this point, how can it change when you don’t shut the voices in your head out and keep doing the same thing over and over again? Surprised you ask? Blown away? Nope, just the same thing over and over again and now it is starting to take what I care about around me down with it. You would think action, you would think do something about it stupid wouldn’t you? You would think at some point you would get tired of these twisted apologies in your head. Spinning tales to survive and get to the next day, turns out the next day in this bullshit life I have created is worse than the day before. It can get better, or it can get worse, day one  or one day, you decide! All kinds of catchy little slogans out there to remind us that we can do better, but if you look around at the shape the world is in, we have clearly chosen no to do better. We have clearly chosen greed  and allowed men to do what they want with women. We  have clearly chosen to look the other way while ISIS rapes women and sells people into slavery in the Middle East. We have clearly chosen to let hate in and we have clearly chosen to turn are back on all of it. If they don’t have to be better, why do I have to be better?See, we got caught up in the results, instead of the effort. I coach high school sports and I tell all my athlete’s, if you think there isn’t somebody else out there trying to get better, you’ve missed the point. Greatness is made in dimly lit gyms at 5 in the morning, greatness is made when you realize somebody out there wants it as much as you do. But nobody wants to put in the work anymore, everybody just wants it handed to them and all they care about is the results in the end and in the end that will be are downfall. In all these twisted apologies in my head I realize we the people are our own worst enemy. We the people have caused this and we the people now have cause to stop this.

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Shout Out To God! We The People Will See you soon!

You were afraid of Mansions music, turns out Harvey and Kevin turned out to be a little Spacey! American beauty huh, let’s just be honest you scumbag! You came clean because you were about to get caught, funny how that works across the board! Anybody want to go to church or maybe catch an Aldean concert? I’ve got amazing floor seats! Supposed to be sensitive and sympathetic and I promise you I am! But sensitive and sympathetic and worrying about people’s feelings is what got us here! He’s connected, she wanted it, I can go on and on, but this is where we live, this is what we created! Not in our heads anymore, not able to turn a blind eye to it, wonder how it went on for so many years. Wait, you mean Harvey and Kevin kept making people a lot of money so it was okay? Gotcha, makes sense to me now. How Jerry Sandusky could go on for decades abusing people at  a school and plenty knew, but as long as the checks kept coming in and Joe Paterno kept winning everybody looked away. Keep looking away, I’d like to say that I’m sorry I let you down, but we are past the edge. Past the point, about ready to make it a moot point, I don’t want to shut the voices in my head out anymore. They are the only thing that makes sense anymore. Instead of finding a solution all we are doing is passing the buck and anymore I just can’t. It’s a terrorist and people lose their mind. Then it’s a white guy in a church, then its this about race and that about race and when do we the people realize we have a problem. It’s not a black, white, brown or whatever color you are problem, its OUR problem and we the people are charged with finding a better way, because the clowns running the show sure aren’t.  One clown is pushing a nuclear showdown with North Korea while he is all buddy, buddy behind the scenes with Mr. Putin. My last names not Ball, and my daddy isn’t famous, so if I steal some Louis’s from China are you going to help me sir. I’m guessing that you are too busy hanging out with Roy Moore, grabbing them by the pussy. Hey, its a great gig if you can get it. Dodge your military service, get daddy to bail you out with a small million dollar loan, run your business’s into the ground and file bankruptcy and then tell everyone what a great businessman you are. Again, there are far worse across the world then the mickey mouse moron we have in office, but at what point we the people? Because we the people have but two choices left. Continue and watch what happens, maybe a meeting with that big guy in the sky sooner than we thought if you believe in that kind of thing.  Or we stand up and fight! We the people have the power, we the people have the power to do something about it. We the people can stand up like Mr. King and Mr. Lincoln, when they saw something wrong. We need leaders with that kind of courage, we need people with heart and guts to stand up. They knew it wasn’t going to be popular, they knew that  it could cost them everything and it did, but they did it anyway. We the people? Or we the puppets, because WE have a choice to make….

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The Voices In My Head Are Starting To Get Loud!

Tired of pretending this is okay, sorry I let everyone down, sorry it all went down like this. The voices keep telling me I can’t and why wouldn’t they? I’ve given them every reason to doubt me, my entire life I have given people reasons to doubt me. They kept telling me that I was going to be it, until they realized I wasn’t. So sorry I let you all down, still looking for the way out, and while ill never stop, at forty that way out seems like it is closing in on me. Seems like with each step and every word I am closing in more and more on myself. Starting to see me for what I am, don’t have the guts to say it out loud or type it, but lets just say I’m not proud. The voices in my head now pounding, telling me the choices I made and the things I did are permanent, that it can’t get better and I do nothing to make it better. All those cute little fucking memes about “day one or one day, you decide.” What if you decide the wrong way? What if you decide the wrong way for 19 years? What if I am wrong about that God guy and this is all we get? So much time wasted, starting to think that the person I let down is the person looking back in the mirror. I knew better, I know how this horror story plays out and all the clichés are true, the black guy dies, the girl with the boobs dies and here we are again at the same point. The point where it becomes day one or one day, the day where you decide that what you wasted is gone, so  make what the fuck is in front of you amazing. Their watching, their laughing, they don’t think you can do it. But they might have overlooked one thing, those moments in life happen. Those moments when we decide we are tired of the way our world is going. We are tired of guys thinking its okay to treat women like this. There are those moments where we the people decide we have had enough, when we stand up and decide to do something about it. When we make and we change history, when we realize they have us  fooled and we the people are more powerful than they will ever be. So we stepped in it America, I voted for the clown, I wanted  change, I figured it would be bad, this bad thought? Well, my bad, I’m sorry that I let you down, I wish that it had gone down any number of different ways, but here we are. And those voices in my head pushing for a change are getting louder and louder and blocking everything out. I have too sat that I kind of like it, like that punched in the mouth taste your own blood lose your mind moment. That moment you realize that the only way it happens is you have to put yourself out there, you have to risk being exposed because you weren’t perfect either, but who is? Listen to the voices, take the risk, how’s that saying go? “Well behaved women rarely make history,  so what, you did it right? Let it quit doing you and realize it was just a moment. A moment where you should have, but didn’t make a different choice, betting we have all been in that boat…

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One Hatred, Under God!

I had a hard time believing it when it came out of his mouth. “Fuck all Muslims and all Muslims are bad.” Um, confused look on my face, but hey I guess we all give the guy from the middle east on the plane a second look, lets just be honest. Probably used the word faggot and laughed about it, guilty over here. Nigga, yeah, and the justification was, its okay because it is with an A. Are you fucking kidding me right now, pretty disappointed in myself over here I have to say.  When the fuck did it become okay for all of this? When did it become okay to lay down and give up and let all the bullshit win? I voted for him, I wanted  a  mess, I felt they both were a joke, but the jokes on me now as  Trump  has  created  one  hatred under God.  Too the republic, which no one understands anymore, I say this, we the people have had enough. Ignorance can no longer win, we are all  entitled too our beliefs and views, but in the end the judging we do will end  us and we will be judged in the end. I don’t need to go all God on you, whether you believe in him or not, look at the weather, look at the fires, look at the violence, shit sure looks like the end of days you would have to say. Hate wins and we all lose, we all have already lost. Teachers make jack, pharmaceutical reps make six figures to do what exactly?  Oh pay off doctors and try to get all those warnings in quick at the end of the commercial, because let’s be honest. There is no money in the cure and money is the American way.  It’s not like this one nation under God is in the middle of the worst opioid crisis ever, and in case you were wondering, the recovery rate is jack, about what a teacher makes. We have a secretary of education who doesn’t realize we are way behind other countries and is slashing left and right, It reminds me of that dipshit Bush had running Fema when Katrina hit and he didn’t have a fucking clue, kind of like this Betsy bitch. I mean I guess the real bitch in the white house is responsible for all of this. So lets write another Facebook post about it and post some more fake news about it so we can look the other  way and not admit that WE THE PEOPLE, LET THIS ONE HATRED UNDER GOD HAPPEN!

 

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