Comey, Comey, Comey Chameleon!

You come and go, you come and go lol, some of you will get this, some of you need to YouTube the song since that is what kids do these days. How many times do we have to call the Chameleon a liar? Did he really just use the words hate, did he really say that it  was somebody else’s fault? You were the one who had the conversations with Comey you dummy, you were the one who didn’t know what the hell you were doing. Again, just like you, I didn’t think you had  a chance in hell when I voted  for you. How sad, I thought Hillary’s ignorance was worse than yours and now I just pray we make it four more  years as I watch military planes and vehicles start to mobilize at a rapid rate at Fort Lewis near my home. Close your eyes, turn away, except this isn’t a remote and these aren’t those poor kids on T.V. late at night that you can change the channel on. This is the world and the life that we have created, this  is our doing and nobody else’s. This is the worst case in human history of what you allow will continue and now what? Corporate greed, corrupt governments, bombs and violence everywhere, trying to make it so we are afraid to walk out the door. Why not? Fear forced us into creating the department of Homeland Security and I guess my question is this? Do you feel any safer? Does it bother you that instead of taking care of business, 46 is too busy tweeting  and defending himself and his administration against something every other day? Politicians are shady, it is the nature of the beast, but have we ever witnessed anything like this in history? Suppose like I, you are tired of listening to all of it and seeing the Facebook prophets who bitch about it, but wont be about it. I’m pro this,  but  don’t take away my Starbucks! Hey Lavar Ball, we know what the little kid in Cambodia gets paid to make your sons shoes, so are you fucking kidding me with that price tag? Are overall greed  as  a world and  making money are bottom line has led us to a point where we are on the edge, and  tetter tottering on that mother fucker, know that! I know I am, about to lose two of the most important things to me. My mom is a 65-year-old diabetic and yesterday the paramedics thank God were barely able to bring her back from a 17 blood sugar. I am pretty sure you are supposed to be damn near dead under  20, and this has been the worst one by far. My 9-year-old black lab is starting to show the signs that he is shutting it down. The one who carried me, the one that was there for me no matter what the dumb shit was that I did  that day and now, I can’t stop the process of life. The one guaranteed thing, death. So lets continue down this road, lets waste our time with letting it all go down like this, because I’m sure I am right and Heaven is guaranteed. I’m sure there are 72 virgins waiting  on the other side and I am sure whether you believe in God like I do or not, this I believe to be true. The bible was interpreted by man, the same man who is destroying the world today with their power-hungry money-grubbing greed! And remember this one last thing! If you do believe in God like I, remember what they did to his son because  they chose fear instead of understanding. Hmm, fear  instead of understanding, were those Roman times or 2017……..

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This, That, And That Trump Thing!

And by Thing, I mean that shit on his head, tough to beat The Weekend out for worst hair in America. Congratulations dickwad, you are finally up to the task at hand, “a little bit harder than you thought!” Tough when daddy can’t give you a million dollar loan and bail you out of it this time! But hold on to your cash, seems like you might be the one needing bail money soon! Funny how my problems don’t seem so big in reality, no chemical attack, wasn’t bombed at a concert, sex trafficked or molested! I wasn’t a lot of things, but what I was, was a failure by choice! Survived Coke binges that would make Charlie Sheen and his Warlock cringe! A car wreck that most wouldn’t survive! Collapsed lungs that I made far worse with cigs and weed, women I have lied to and destroyed because I wanted to, but couldn’t get my shit together! But the thing is, somehow I’m still here, somehow payback is coming! Not that shove it in their face payback everyone is looking for these days! No, the kind of payback that happens when you do what the say you couldn’t, when you show them that they wrote you off just a little too soon! The best payback isn’t in the words you seek, it’s in the actions you take when all they can do is watch and the words have become a moot point! You can be written off at any second, or you can write a new ending, you can do a lot of things! You can be that mind 2Pac talks about that changes the world! You can be the guy or girl who says enough is enough and starts a movement that changes things like MLK! You can be the voice of reason in the middle of all the madness! But the one thing you can’t do! You can’t do these things sitting on your ass here doing it the same way…..

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The Words Escape Me

Maybe not escape me, but haunt me. Loser, why, look at him, I’ll be there 100% they mock you with as if your word means nothing! Run your fucking mouths now, how quickly people forget what you did for them, how quickly they fuck you in the ass! I know I’m my problem, I know who did this, but fingers point and words fly and it’s my fault you made the fucking choices you did? It’s my fault I did a shit ton of blow and I survived and the guy next to me didn’t! Suppose it’s my fault I survived that accident I had a 15% chance of surviving too! My worthless ass doesn’t deserve it for sure, take him, not the 6-year-old girl one of my closest lost a few years ago! If only life worked that way. If only we could go back and change the parts we don’t like, instead of standing in place dwelling on it! Sometimes that God has a bigger plan shit and it will get better is hard to see and even harder to believe. Curtain has all but dropped on this shit show, all that’s left is my encore performance! My last shot  to prove that the mess lefty lying here on the floor that I have become isn’t where it ends. A chance to write a different ending, a chance to end it! A chance to show them that they were wrong, a chance not to shove it in their face, but a chance to make a move and gave redemption! A chance after you blew it all to come back, a chance that none of them think you have, because the words escape them too. But in all the mess you’ve become, they don’t see what you see. You swam with sharks that stabbed you in the back and tried to eat you alive, still here! You ripped yourself limb from limb chasing it and it beat you to the ground, but didn’t beat you, still here! The see that the moment has passed, you see yourself in it with a shot to make the move! See, the words may escape you, but don’t let the moment escape you…..

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It’s Alright, Because I’m white! Continue The Hateful Fight!

He was 20 years old, his name was Jimmy Kramer, he went camping over Memorial Day weekend to celebrate turning 20! Not even old enough to drink, but old enough to get run down because he was native! Gone, and if I am wrong about their being that God guy, that’s all he gets! For what? I saw the images as did you, of what happened when chemical bombs dropped on Syrian children. Saw the devastation of a coward bomber at a concert in England. Hate, fear and not wanting to understand each other, sound like end of days to you? They feared Jesus because they didn’t understand him if you believe like I do and it destroyed them! I’m not saying take the Bible literally, I’ll be the first to say I hate the judgementalness of religion, but if you believe, there is some truth to it! Now the guy in my White House turns to Twitter, Bombs and poking the stick every chance that he gets, because he just doesn’t get it. I wanted this chaos, I wanted change, I voted Trump, but fear fills me now. Fear in the words of Angela Merkel’s voice when she says you can’t trust us. Fear about Russia, fear about North Korea, fear of the assholes we put in power who are doing nothing to fix the problem with their idle threats! And yet nobody is paying attention to the real threat! Black, white, purple or pink, time is the real threat and the real enemy! Most likely 20 years or so from now, Trumps in the ground and I just wonder what his four years will leave us! One nation, under God, built out of war, the backs of black slaves and swindling the Indians! It sure is a great day to be alive and white….

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Facebook Stalking, Asshole Bleaching And….

Facebook stalking and holding on for dear life that there is something left. Something left leads to seven hours of drinking and screaming and yelling and running before the cops show up. Why do we always fuck with a past that is bad for us? We know better, or so we say we do. I guess we say a lot of things, we do a lot of things and WE write our own stories! We do our own deeds and we suffer or sometimes others suffer the consequences for our choices. The last 18 years have gone by in a blur of bad choices, addiction and things lost that almost broke me. Now, I don’t even know if there is enough of me left too break. Less sure now as I approach 40 of what I want then I have ever been in my life. Confused about how I could let it all pass by as if I could give a fuck less like some asshole bleached affliction asshole! These demons we let get into our bloodstream make us or destroy us. Do you dance with them? Or do they dance on the ashes that have become what is left of our lives. This is how it ends, Facebook stalking hoping for miracles, sitting on your ass social media wasted just waiting for the other shoe to drop. What if? What if you made the move instead of having one made against you. You find out some of the most solid people you know are going through it just like you. The guy with the doctorate who is without a doubt one of the best people you know falling apart in front of you. Choices, thought he wanted out of a relationship so he made a move he now regrets at thirty. Tricky thing is trying to go back, as I said see that drunken running from the cops mess Monday night I was talking about! The rich friend who is spending every dime to look that way. The friend who posts, “who wouldn’t want to go to the beach after work!” Then privately texts, “I’m miserable, I have nobody and he moved me to California to isolate me!”  Live it, try to love it, try not to waste 18 years as you’ll learn you 65-year old diabetic mother won’t age well. The dog you used to love walking who carried you through some of the worst times will start to shut it down. You’ll grow up, the ones at 10 won’t be the ones at 20! The ones at 20 won’t be the ones at 40, you’ll be hurt by and lose some people you never thought you would and sometimes you’ll just grow or move apart! Life’s too short for Facebook stalking and bleached assholes, speaking of bleached assholes, how you doing these days Donald? Continue reading

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“Chris Singleton!” A Love Or Hate Situation

Love over hate is what the kid on T.V. said. Whatever right? People say things like that all the time. Not necessarily when they are from a teenager who just lost his mom to senseless violence! Violence, Syria uses chemical gas attacks, we come back with the second biggest bomb in history. Forget talking about it, Russia will protect their asset, like we the people protect Israel! It used to be easy to drink and smoke all the shit I’ve done and the shit going on away. Sober scared the fuck out of me, until that one day I realized time didn’t give a fuck about me! I’ve wasted years and years and lost so many good things along the way to get too the misery of today! I’ve Trumped myself, opened up my mouth and wrote checks I knew that it couldn’t cash! But boy I’d sure tell you I would and yell at you if you questioned me, sound like anyone?  At least I can admit it, instead of taking to Twitter to act like a little bitch about it! Speaking of bitching about it, that seems to be all we do! Tell me what your endless Facebook posts have done about it? I hate Trump, but I’m not willing to do anything about it! Then let’s march thru the streets destroying shit, which is exactly what your marching to oppose! Corporations destroying shit, please explain that too me and oh by the way you have something on your Tom’s! Oh and that Unicorn Frap in your hand, that’s fucking cute princess. Fuck Starbucks and that dickwad Schultz, ha, it didn’t auto correct dickwad! I live in the Pacific Northwest and there used to be this thing called the Seattle Sonics! See, at least I’m honest, I call out my biases! A kid seeing hope on the worst day of his life, love not hate! Hate is why we lose good men and women in our military! Hate is why gangs are killing each other at alarming numbers, beyond hate, greed! Greed and hate are what did in the world if you believe in Jesus as I do so be careful! Greed, the taste of power and the want for more and not understanding something took them all down before, it can take us down again! How about we try love over hate, instead of killing each other over religious beliefs and greed!

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Don’t Play Victim To Circumstances You Created!

Wow, that one sure  hits between the eyes as I have come to a crossroads. Last chance, last shot at any kind of fucking life at all and in slow motion, watching yourself piss it away one more time. Telling yourself  you have to somehow stop it and caught up in the middle of all the lies and bullshit, it seems like there is no way out.  Always is, just depends on how bad you want it and how bad you want to quit. I can tell you all about second chances  and  pissing them away,  I can tell you all about cocaine addictions that should have killed me, drunken boozy car rides I don’t remember. The women who gave a fuck about me and I could give two fucks less, I could tell you a lot of things! I could  tell you that time slips away at a pace that you can’t believe, I could tell you that people you care about move on because they’re tired of  watching you destroy yourself. I could tell you all these things that I could play victim to, but who is the victim? Surely not me when I created it all, all this potential and yet nothing, that 50 cent line, “damn homie, in high school you was the man homie, what the fuck happened to you.” Plays over and over again in my head  like a cruel joke reminding me  that I had all the chances in the world to grab it and yet here I sit. Stale,  getting older and for sure not  wiser by the day, what a waste. Wow I heard someone say, what a waste, what he could of been. Ugly scene when you  hear words  like  what could  of  been. It’s a little too late to say your sorry at this point, it’s a little too late to make excuses, been to hell an back, have the scars to prove it. Not proud of any of it, more disgusted truth be told, but decisions were made and things  were done and said and you cant worry about that shit in the past anymore. It’s about moves to be made now, it’s about getting out of your own way, its about letting it go no matter how bad you wish you could change it. Some people die that way, holding on to something they just cant have or a situation that just didn’t work out. Out work whatever you are up against, believe that shit about being better than you were yesterday, if it comes out of your mouth, make sure it happens, life is a lot easier that way. It gets harder chasing your  dreams in the wind when you  are chasing your tail building it all on lies!

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