Dear Don,

I don’t really care about all your shady dealings and all the shady politics anymore. Every other day you are hanging someone out to dry and expecting us to believe that you knew nothing about it. Dear Don, I would like to blame it all on you, all on the liberals because they are too soft, but as I look into my daughters two-year old eyes, that shit doesn’t get it anymore. The pass the buck, the blame isn’t mine and throw it on anybody else has run its course and its old. Action not words, everybody has a damn mouth and knows how to run it. But Dear Don, as I look into my two year old daughters eyes, I don’t know if I see a future, or fear of what lies ahead. Shit shot up all over the place, murder rates off the charts, too many without a damn thing and too many not doing a damn thing about it. Dear Don, I did this, I am part of the problem and I let it go on for to long and did nothing about it. Dear Don, about that, shit is about to change, a shit storm is on the way, so  Dear Don, you better be prepared. 2 a.m. tweets aren’t going to be enough to fix this one, cant guarantee that he didn’t say the N word huh? Cant guarantee that all of us could check ourselves a little more and maybe, just maybe be a little bit better? Because Dear don, I want to look in those eyes and see all the time, the hope, the future, the joy of not knowing all the shit that is going on around her. Dear Don, children getting snatched and sold into child slavery, parents in the U.S. locking something like fourteen kids in a basement. Rapes off the charts and almost excepted over in India! Dear Don, where does it all stop? When do we let are words start becoming action? When do we start acting like we are better and knowing we are better like we all know we are? Dear Don, I fear you like me still do things that you shouldn’t because you get away with them. Dear Don, I have found out that the shit you do in darkness will come to light at the worst fucking possible time. Dear Don, when do we stop getting the high of getting away with it and start doing something about it? Asking for a friend, because I couldn’t possibly ask myself with the  dirt in my backyard. As  I hear the words daddy leave her mouth Dear Don I will leave you with this. Whatever is going on in your life, there are two choices. Let it continue and run you, or run that bitch no matter who or what you have to give up and no matter what it takes or how bad it hurts, so Dear Don……

Life Won, Me Zero

Fear, and what it can convince you of! What if lies don’t cover up the past, what if they cover up the present! They turn us inside out, and force themselves to the surface! What once was, can never stay the same, no matter how much we wish it could and that’s the bottom line. And now because of the way I have chosen to live my life and the lies I have had to tell to cover it up, life won and me zero. Used to never worry about it, as kids say these days, Zero fucks! That was at twenty, then forty showed up knocking on my door a year ago and I looked back on twenty years and thought, Life won, me zero. Life hit hard  and like I tell the high school kids I coach, you have to get back up no matter how hard the hit. Funny how you talk that shit, but yet you chose to lay down for so long because it was easier. Easier to let someone else deal with it, easier to let someone else take your hit and you just ducked and ran. And now its all falling apart, now the score is life won and  me zero. And I get it should be one, if you don’t get what I’m doing here I doubt ill be able to slow it down for you. The thing that scares me about that zero, is it my score or is it what I have let myself become? At least I have that part figured out, I got myself in to this mess and I sure as fuck will get myself out of it. But its the cops fault or the teachers fault or it isn’t my kids fault, I have to say life won for sure, because it seems like all the fuck we do is make excuses for it. It isn’t my fault, Shaggy had a song about it, “it wasn’t me,” well Shaggy, it may not have been you, but at this point I kind of think that we are all on the hook. So let me tell you a little something that you probably already know. Sometimes its going to be you zero and life one. Sometimes you can make all the excuses that you want, sometimes life takes things from you that just isn’t fair. Sometimes we have questions that only the God I believe in if he exists has answers for and hell, maybe even he doesn’t. Man has free will, man has choices and man I am  tired of the score being life won, me zero……..

When The Walls

Life is out of our control! That’s okay, it’s how we respond and what we do! It’s okay not to be okay, but some days,  the walls start closing in. Some things in life are out of our control, not all things, I should correct myself. Start taking care of now, the things that you can control. Because when the walls start closing in, when the walls start stumbling, crumbling down Mr. Mellencamp, it can be a dicey situation. They start telling you that it is over, you start listening this time. They put you on a timeline that I’m not even sure God could pull of with the state of the shit show I have put on for so many years I am embarrassed to mention it. Those walls start telling you that  what’s against you is better than you and you just keep doing the same damn thing proving those walls right. You find yourself getting mad and fighting about the same fucking things over and over again, the walls just laugh and close a little bit further in. Saying things like you are better than this and you are past this and making yourself believe anything you can to not admit that you’re not dealing with, but yet still dancing with the demons of your past. We all have one, we drove past it,  we used to live right past it, just past the store hang a right and just dance with your past long enough and the walls win. Watching the walls win too much lately, watching people die from drug overdoses, watching things taking over this world that don’t seem to be in are favor. Watching the walls closing in on us everyday and the  mother fucker in North Korea  is supposedly making more nukes and the dumbass in the White House is worried about Lebron? I hate the kneeling for the flag, my grandfather took a bullet for this country, but taking shots at a guy who seems to get that he’s fortunate to have all that money from basketball and is giving back?!? That’s what you are worried about? Its suffocating right now, the walls are not closing in, they have all but fucking closed and that’s a wrap. I was told today I didn’t matter, I was told today I wasn’t good enough, I had it shoved in my face and I had some of the most important things in the world to me taken away. Today is the day that the walls win. So the  only thing to do is burn this bitch to the ground and start over, walls were made to come down, and even if we lose a battle here or there, it will happen. Don’t lose sight of winning the war, because that wall that’s closing in that you are fighting. Let me tell you a little secret about it, that it doesn’t want you to know. You built it, therefore you are its worst enemy and you are the one who can bring that wall down, you and only you….