Whatever You Do Today!

You’ll have to sleep with tonight is the line from the Aaron Tippin song. “Whatever you do today, you’ll have to sleep with tonight!” Sleep has now become the enemy and tonight there will be none of it. Losing battles left and right has led me here, hoping capture the moment and don’t lose the war. See what is done, is done and I keep forgetting that And trying to live there! All these mother fuckers on Facebook worried about conjugating verbs and Trumps idle words, but nobody wants to stand up and do anything about it! You know how many times in my 41 years the world was going to end or this war was going to happen or nukes, you name it, I can. We have stayed in one spot for so long, we have one shot. We have one life and I’m losing my dog of ten years this week I realized this. It killed me, for a few days it crushed me and he was family and I’ll miss him until the day I die. But life doesn’t care about your hurts or your problems, life doesn’t give a fuck about you. We must stop living afraid, a ten-year cycle of my life is now over and here 41 is. Here I keep doing things that I know I shouldn’t! Things I make okay in the moment that I just can’t sleep with tonight! That shit Al Pacino says in “Any Given Sunday” couldn’t be any more true today! “ I don’t know what to say really. Three minutes, until the biggest battle of our professional lives. It all comes down to today, now either we heal as a team, or we’re going to crumble, inch by inch, play by-play, until we are finished! We’re in hell right now gentleman, believe me, and we can stay here and get the shit kicked out of us or we can fight our way back into the light and we can climb out of Hell. One inch at a time, now I can’t do it for ya I’m too old. I look around and I see these young faces and I think, I mean I made every wrong choice that a middle-aged man could make. I pissed away all my money, believe it or not. I chased off, anyone who has ever loved me. And lately I can’t even stand the face I see in the mirror! You know, when you get old in life, things get taken from you, that’s part of life. But you only learn that, when you start losing stuff. You find out, life’s this game of inches so is football, because in either game, life or football, the margin for error is so small. I mean, one half a step to late or too early and you don’t quite make it. One half second to slow or to fast and you don’t catch it. The inches we need are everywhere around us, there in every break of the game, every minute and every second. On this team, we fight for that inch, on this team we tear ourselves and everyone around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch, because we know, when we add up all those inches, that’s going to make the difference between living and losing, between living and dying. I’ll tell you this, in any fight, it’s the guy whose willing to die, that’s going to win that inch. I know if I’m going to have any life anymore, it’s nevause I’m still willing to fight and die for that inch. Because, that’s what living is, the six inches, in front of your face. Now I can’t make you do it. You have to look at the guy next to you and look in his eyes. Now I think you’re going to see a guy that inch with you, your gonna see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this team, because he knows, when it comes down too it, you’re gonna do the same for him. That’s a team gentleman, either we heal now as a time, or we will die as individuals!” It’s time to fight for that inch, it’s tome to heal as a world, somewhere along the way we forgot the fight we have inside of us. I’m tired of the things I’m doing that won’t let me sleep at night, it’s time to fight.