For Those Who Carried me!
I yelled at you, I told you that you were a piece of shit and you had no idea what the hell you were talking about. You stuck out your hand to help me up and every time you did, I didn’t just burn you, I damn near chopped that mother fucker off. I stomped on your feelings and I cared nothing about anything you did for me, I just cared about myself. Now in certain people I thought that mattered I see those same things and I gotta apologize, because nobody is perfect I guess in the end. I know I sure am not, but I have to be this time. Yeah everyone says that shit about nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes, but I have made too many. Do or let it die was thirty fucking posts ago, I know every single time before I do it what is right and what isn’t I am thirty-seven for fuck sake, but I still choose to do what is wrong. God or life if that works for you gives you free will to do whatever you want and guess what? Not only do I have to be perfect this time, I am just stupid enough to think that I actually can be perfect. All I have to do is every time I open my mouth this time; I make it happen it is that simple! I can have it all, I can change it all and I can figure this shit out, because it is about time that I start paying mother fuckers back who carried me. All I have to do is follow through, show people I give a fuck this time and I have changed and I am tired of being that piece of shit, I want more and I want to be better and I can be better. It is a choice that you make every morning when you wake up, be better than the day before or get buried because you choose to be worse. But you choose it, know that shit. No finger-pointing, no why was it done to me wah wah bullshit, nope just you and the man in the mirror Michael Jackson. But you see this time I don’t have a choice, I don’t owe I to myself, I owe it to my mom and dad for the lumps they took. B and Z one who I thought for sure had left my corner and maybe did. A six-year-old girl who I made a promise to at her casket to be better and, I got a lot of promises that I have to keep and they are all closing in on me, they all want me at the same time to cash those checks my mouth has been talking about for too many years now. Two options…. One options, for all those who carried me I apologize for the piece of shit that I was and I promise this time those checks are wrote are going to be good, I am going to be everything that I promised and said I would be…….