Trying To Hold On!

Versus trying to move on, not sure which is easier, but at the present time they are pulling me in two different directions. It would seem they are pulling me apart at the seams and I am stuck in neutral. So much more out there in front of me if I choose to take a step forward, still torn apart by a past I thought I had dealt with. Key word there and there is always one, THOUGHT. Now my thoughts race until five-thirty in the morning and these sleepless nights have turned to Zombie days, hell, I might not even need a Halloween costume if this keeps up. What point does holding on sink us? I know its sinking me, but letting go whether it is somebody we loved or somebody who has left this earth, it is never easy. Holding on destroys you I am coming to find out. Holding on to your past demons, your past addictions and those don’t have to be drugs, they can be people or situations. Moving on is one of those things in life that hurts so bad, that you know in the end it will be worth it. I will leave you with this to think about. “I’ve dealt with my ghosts and ive faced all my demons, finally content with a past I regret. I’ve found you find strength in your moments of weakness, for once I’m at peace with myself.  I’ve been burdened with blame, trapped  in the past for  too long, I’m moving on. I’ve lived in this  place and I know all the  faces, each one is different, but their always the same. They mean me no harm, but its time that I face it, they’ll never allow me to change. But I never dreamed home would end up where I don’t belong. I’m moving on, at last I can see, life has been patiently waiting for me. And I know there’s no guarantees, but I’m not alone, there comes a time in everyone’s life, when all you can see are the years passing by, and I have made up  my mind that those  days are gone. I sold  what  I could and packed what I couldn’t. Stopped to fill up on my way out-of-town. Ive loved like I  should, but lived like I  shouldn’t, I had to lose everything to  find out. Maybe forgiveness will find me  somewhere down this road.” Maybe the  boys from Rascal Flatts are on to something…….

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