I hate the word loser, but at times like these it is the only word that comes to mind. The thoughts of are you tired of letting then down yet and how did you let this happen are abundant. I saw the guy who was driving the morning of the car wreck that I almost died in at 21 the other day. He was still holding on to it and I told him let go it was an accident. You could see the relief on his face. He then went on to say, “man the look on your face and the things you were saying, I thought for sure you were dead. I didn’t remember any of it, thought I was unconscious, but I sure didn’t need to know I was that close to death! I quit living after that accident, I stayed in the same place because it was easy. And now the losers I used to look at and say no way that will never be me, has become me! The me I should of been is laughing at the shit show I’ve become, at one point I thought I could change the world, now I don’t know what in the world I’m doing anymore! I guess I have to believe out of our darkest times and are weakest moments, if we throw back at life we survive and are better for it. Because I’m getting tired of looking in the mirror and seeing what I could be, looking back and laughing at what I am!