Those Moments In Life.

“Your like a screen flashing insufficient funds, The cops knocking when the parties just begun, you’re a big rain cloud over my boat.” And while Luke Bryan is talking about a woman, these moments in life come and go, its up to us to figure out which ones matter. What happens when we guess wrong? What happens when you know better and you keep going down the same path of destruction? Then what? You know better, you now what you should do, but what you should do has now collided with what you did and you don’t like the way it turned out. Crippling, can’t even make it out of the house to have a beer with friends because of the enormity of it all and what you done. Nobody gets it, because you keep it well hidden, but if they only knew what you really are compared to what they think you are. Sometimes  Jana Kramer is right and you just have to crack the bottle and call it whiskey, sometime whiskey wont be enough as I saw the man today who had lost his mind on drugs. How we deal and the next step is all the matters.  I dont think it could get much worse than this, but I know now at 39 that life will throw punches and hit you below he belt when you are at your lowest point. That point where I am at now looking up at all I have destroyed and trying to figure out of this  mess made me  realize one thing. Why create the fucking mess at all? Because you  had to have pride and you had to do it your way and Tim McGraw has a song on the radio right now about staying humble and checking your pride. You will get a lot farther that way, pick your battles, know which ones are worth fighting and which ones you have to call whiskey and concede and walk away before they walk away with you future and your life. I’ve let too many of THOSE moments in life come and go, never having the balls to grab onto them, but boy I sure would talk about how I was going to  and what the fuck I was going to do. Right up until it came time to do it, then I found every reason and excuse in the book to talk myself out of it. Because life is scary and taking risks sucks, but you know what sucks worse? Wasting the last 18 years of your life and not realizing it  until it might be too late to do something about it. Billy Currington lied it does hurt like it used to, it actually hurts worse than it used to. “Trying to live and love  with a heart that cant be broken, its like trying to see the light, with eyes that cant be opened. Yeah we both carried baggage, that we picked up along the way, so if you love me do it gently and I will do the same. We may shine, we may shatter, we may be picking  up the pieces here on after. We are fragile, we are human, we are shaped by the light that we let pass through us, we break fast, because we are glass.” Look inside yourself, find it now, the time you waste will haunt you. One of my exs forty five year old cousin just died and now there is a 12 year old little boy who is devasted. It  was some kind of training accident of something, but that  isnt the point, we are fragile, we will come to a point where are number is called, so what are you doing with those moments? There is a  move to be made, a chance somewhere out there with your name written all over it, are you going to do what it takes to pull it off this time? Because  finishing last this time, might just finish you off…..

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