Boy I tried, but I just didn’t have it. I didn’t quit, but today what I thought I had, I didn’t have at all. I looked for it and thought about it, but to much time has gone by now and I feel I’ve lost it. Whatever it is, tonight I feel like I have lost it, I feel like I have lost my way out of this mess, I feel like this mess is all I’ll ever be! I don’t even know what I entitled this post anymore, hell I don’t know anything anymore. One minute I want this and the next minute I want that. One minute the thing I’m sure I can’t live without turns into shut the fuck up already. It shocks me how many people give you weird looks when you hold a door open. They look at you like you did something wrong lol. And there’s a tricky one, sent our 60 something year old J.V. Coach lol and he thought it meant lots of love lol. He says, “what the hell were you sending me lots of love for!” That’s a moment you live for right there, but at thirty-eight it isn’t a catchy Adelle tune anymore, I am running out of time. Tired of running into the same wall and even more tired of knowing I’m the one who can change it all but won’t!