seriously though, what if I’ve been wrong about all of it? What if it all was a test and all that pain i thought was unbearable got me to this point? What if I realized I survived it and I quit playing the victim? What if you did too? Maybe I’m just paranoid, but what if I was wrong? What if what I thought was going to end me, actually fucking makes me! What if it pushes me to that point where you break and you figure out a different way to do it and get it done, yeah what if? Tired of wrestling with all these demons, tired of finding all these reasons why I can’t when I know more than fucking anyone else I can! Doing it’s scary, but doing it? Far scarier I’m living proof of that and all I have to do is knock off the bullshit and it will all come together, but will I? Worse, why am I even allowing that to be a question? You ever get tired of doing it to yourself? What if you’re wrong about that Heaven place you believe in. What if what you get on here is it and there is no God. Just because you and hundreds of millions of other people believe it, doesn’t make it so! So believe in the God that you do, but live as if he doesn’t exist, yeah looking back now, I was wrong about a lot of it. But it was one hell of a ride I wouldn’t trade for the world!