That it goes so quick that it happens so fast, it was almost two years ago now that I met her, we’re approaching five years my former best friends daughter left us. A light starts appearing at the end of that tunnel at some point the end is always nearer than we would ever like to admit and now I must admit what I lost is lost and in the past. My story is far from over, but it can’t continue if I continue to live here! I suddenly realized all these years I’ve spent struggling with it and not getting my shit together has taken years off my mom’s life that I can never get back! If I don’t get on it soon, she will never see those grand kids, I’ve lost and missed so much, I’ve come a long way, but none of this is okay! Giving up and folding isn’t okay, I made it this bad, I decided it was finished and over and then I laid down felt sorry for myself and wallowed in it! Now that I’ve traveled down this road, I see it was a dead-end to nowhere. I watch and listen to the Wiz Khalifa video when I see you again and I think about Pail Walker! Wasn’t a jerk, still nobody has a bad word to say. Didn’t hit or rape woman, didn’t have his mug in mug shots because he was drunk or high and because his friend made a bad decision he is gone! You meet certain people and know you will be brothers forever and you draw a line and never cross it because you know as the saying goes, they would ride or die for you! Damn, who knew I would start figuring out at thirty-seven what matters, it’s not like I pissed away all of my twenties and most of my thirties!