Well I Made It To 4:40:-(

Longer than I thought, I seemed to have some strength today until 4:40 hit. Now all that’s left for me to do is let the clock hit midnight Cinderella and watch the rest of my life waste away. How sad is it that without a doubt, that statement is a 100% true! Not even a hint of falsehood in that statement, well I guess you stick with what you know and do best right! The last thing one of my closest I no longer speak to said to me was this. You have to be the biggest fucking waste in the history of the world. You have so much potential that others wish they had and you just piss it away. Sorry brother, I’ll always love you, but I can’t have your shit show around my kids and it kills me watching you destroy yourself and what you could have been! You don’t know how much it crushes someone’s soul to hear that from somebody who matters, worse, I’m no pussy I may have made mistakes, but I own it, he is right and I have nobody to blame save the Easter Bunny! If you are actually blaming fictional characters for your problems please go get you head checked before you kill six people and yourself. But Trix are for kids and the act grew old because all I cared about was a sack of weed. I hate to be the bad guy, but I have played the role oh so fucking well at this point! Are you fucking kidding me? How sad of a statement is I made it to 4:40 and worse I think that might actually be a victory! What does the good looks and the time in the gym matter when the girl I want to talk to was five feet away tonight and because of what I didn’t do I can’t say a damn word! “I also represent anyone on the receiving end of those jokes you invent, I’m the nightmare you fell asleep and still woke up in. I’m your karma closing in with each stroke of a pen. Perfect time to have some remorse for your sin nope, its hopeless, I’m the denial that you’re hopelessly in when they say that this is all approaching its end, but you refuse to believe that it is over here we go all over again! Backs to the wall, in stacking up all of them odds, toilets clogged, yeah I’m talking a lot of shit but I’m backing it all up!” And when I heard that line my entire life made sense! My back is to the wall and believe your ass I have talked it and never backed it up. “Stan is just symbolic of you not knowing what you had until it’s gone. I’m the hindsight to say I told you so, foreshadows of all the things that are to follow. I’m the future that’s here to show you what happens tomorrow if you don’t stop!” That last line, I see now what happens tomorrow if I continue to say yesterday that today is the day and do nothing with it! The voice in my head just said that shit just got real and whatever happens from here on out is on my shoulders. I had it and I did nothing with it and now it is doing something with me! Better bring it this time, because 4:40 will come tomorrow and I’ll still have a decision to make!

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