The fight isn’t worthwhile, because I keep losing and I refuse to change and every day that I refuse to change I lose a little more of myself! Tonight all that plays over and over in my head is the chorus to one of my top five favorite songs for sure. “And waste it all on fixing the problems that you created in your own head. But it was not your fault but mine, and it was your heart on the line, I really fucked it up this time, didn’t I my dear!” I at one point had I this life more than I thought I would and then I lost it all because I wanted to smoke pot. Which is without a doubt not your fault but mine and this time I really fear that I have really fucked it up this time. Having a hard time seeing how life matters when everything around you is withering away because of your choices and that you want lies next to someone else tonight! Keep wasting all your time on the problems you created in your own head, the song would go on to say that you will never settle any of your scores! Tonight killed me man when I saw her jogging by with that dog and thinking we should have a kid right now!. But right now here I sit writing this too you, listen to your heart, when its time to let go, let go….