Trying To Be Better!

I Want To Act Like I Am Better.

You play the role, you hurt someone as badly as you were hurt, but there was mercy for you, you just kept leading the lamb to the slaughter and then just washed your hands and walked. You can say all you want that you didn’t want it to do down this way and you didn’t want to hurt them, but the fact is at one point your cared more about getting high than anything else and now look at you. You want to act like you are better, but the things you said and did in anger show your ass and what you are mad at someone and the world about you have done to the world and others. The time for feeling sorry for yourself, crying about it and let it ruin you has passed, you can keep acting like it or you can fucking do something about it. The President wants to declare war, Kanye West says a bunch a dumb shit and you idiots pick up on it in the media and give him exactly what the fuck he wants. Three people were either murdered in Chapel Hill over a parking spot or racism, either fucking way wtf is going on man. It seems like we are all acting like we are a little better when the fact remains that we all could probably do a little better, I know I can at least, this time it’s a game changer, a give up the shit I have to, to make it happen once in a lifetime chance that this fucking time I wont blow or let walk by. I’ll grab it, ill own it and I will make it mine and it will change everything, why the fuck not? Its called faith for a reason right? I have no idea if it will happen, but I’ll keep dreaming it and having faith that it will happen, now I have to be better, not act like it and I have a pretty good feeling that the rest of it will take care of itself! Fuck man, then a text comes in and exactly what the fuck I said I was going to do leave it alone I didn’t do. You can’t say it and pray it at night and then not go out and live it the next day or whats the point? It isn’t God not answering your prayers or life hating you, it is about you not taking care of what you need to take care of. Morgan Freeman says it best in Bruce Almighty when he says you want to see a miracle quit looking up and be the miracle! Im the mother fucker whose going to be the miracle and make it happen, save myself and put it all back together, I may have fucked up a lot in thirty seven years, but if I sack up and grow up its all there waiting for me not to want to act better, but to be better!

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