Friend, Foe Or Hoe!

Friend Or Foe? I’m Tired Of Being The Ho!

What if? It’s a question I have never answered, but in a couple of days I could pull what if off and make it a real living thing. Am I going to be my own friend or foe again this time? If foe is the choice, then I am afraid I will end up the same ho I am now getting dealt with like a bitch and there’s some fucking things I want. Some fucking things that I can have or at least I believe that I can have them and that is all I need at the moment. Its time I keep the promises to myself and to others that I keep pissing on. Most importantly, somewhere along the way I did it for every wrong reason and wrong person and now I have to remember man, I should also be doing it for myself. Not to fit somebody’s box of who I should be, not to impress somebody or fit in, no you should be good enough just the way you are. And if you are not then run like hell man, it is a waste of time a monumental one! I did it to prove it to somebody and because I wanted vengeance and I was bitter because I chose to be a little bitch and now I got one move left that I refuse to make, all the other moves are played out bitch moves. I did this, I let myself become my own worst enemy, my biggest foe and I now have to figure out how to beat myself on the fly. I think in the next week if I put my foot on the gas that I could have one of those game changing moments that permanently affects the outcome of your life. There is something in play that I just learned about today and I want it, I want it real fucking bad. I might want it more than anything I have ever wanted in my entire life and I am stupid enough to talk myself into believing that I can have it, why the fuck now me and why the fuck not now? I noticed the cussing is back and while I can’t apologize for being who I am I wish I could knock it off, but I am fucking mad at the way things have turned out and I have a play from the one yard line to score and change my life forever. The play sheet is in my hands and the headset is on my head and all of it falls on my shoulder. One call to have a shot at changing it all……

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