You turned your back they never did, you were the one who turned out the lights and quit believing in yourself and you were the one who made excuses as to why you couldn’t when they always knew that you could. I wish I could wake up with amnesia and forget the whole fucking mess, but 38 is coming whether I want it to or not. I can’t be here this time next year or I’ll blow my fucking brains out. I’m not taking shots at anyone who committed suicide,I have friends who have and it sucks, but I can’t keep saying I’m going to do this and I’m going to make this happen and be there and it not happen anymore. The dark place is getting darker and the light at the end of the tunnel is all burned out like I am on this life that I’ve been living. Those people in the dark place with me are getting burned out on it too, they have had enough of me not doing what I could do, problem is I guess by my actions that I haven’t and life is too short to not have the things that you want. So many things that I want and some of them I could still have. I know what I don’t want anymore is this, this fucking sucks really bad man. I got a lot of work to do to make up for the work that I didn’t do I don’t know that I have it in me anymore!I don’t have the time to have this constant conversation with myself, I’m getting old and they’re getting old, it’s time to find a way to pull it off. I think I probably already have a way and just been sitting on it afraid of what it exposes, but now more than ever I need to dust it off and put my dream in play or it’s just game over and it finishes me. The people who get to Super Bowl’s, get the promotions and get places in life finish, they don’t leave open doors or shit in the wind to question and when you take care of business the rest takes care of itself. Now it’s up to me to find it in me, because all these people hanging out in the dark place with me,they deserve the best out of me just like a six-year-old little girl in heaven does!

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