Family, those that matter and those moments the change us that we can’t ever replace. I simply missed too much and talking to a few people today, I realized it sucks, but I really don’t have it that bad! I miss not being around for the moments that matter,I’m starting to build some new ones, but a lot of the people who really matter aren’t around anymore. It is hard to keep it together, it is hard to find joy in all the pain I’ve caused, it is easy to sit here make excuses like I just did in the first hundred words of this post! It will without a doubt be tough, probably the toughest thing you’ve ever done. You will have doubt, your question yourself and whether you’re doing the right thing or even capable of pulling of what you think you’re trying to pull off.some of the closest people say things to hurt you, tell you that you can’t turn their back on you, forgive them as soon as they give you the chance to. Forgive the ones that hurt you, forgive yourself because you’re perfect either and make amends the best you can for what you did. Nobody said it was easy, nobody said you wouldn’t struggle and I am sorry but all the people who I know who have had a handed to them are assholes and bitches, so were all better than that! There comes a time where you have to be your own hero, you have to take a chance, a leap of faith that something better is waiting on the other side. I fear this thing here is worse than failing and if you do fail he will somehow figure out a way to get back up again!