Sitting On The Dock Of…..

Sit Around Getting Old Waiting For Somebody Else To Take Care Of It!

Lol, the story of my life one direction, at least I think it is, might be those fucking Jonas brothers and either way A.D.D. over here is off the tracks again. It was weird today, what killed me in May jogged right passed me, said hi, I was looking away the whole time and then said hi to my dog and kept jogging, and I was waiting for it. I used to want to text her, check her Facebook, lose my mind and fall completely the fuck apart. Run to the store and grab a pack of smokes and lose a week feeling bad for myself. I went to the gym and had one of the best workouts of my life! It didn’t kill me, yeah I thought about it, but it wasn’t this devastating blow that I made it before, I had finally moved on. And while I will never be completely happy with it, the best you can do in life is the best you can and move on when you have to. Sometimes we have to accept things that break our heart in half and we don’t want to, but we will never get to where we are supposed to be and never become who we are supposed to be if we don’t accept them. Sometimes your greatest triumph is right around the corner from your biggest defeat, it’s just sitting there waiting for you to accept certain things you don’t want to so you can move on. I sat around for a long time doing what I wanted to do and letting other people take care of my messes that I should have been cleaning up the whole time. Now it’s time to see how bad I want it and if I can clean up my own mess instead of having somebody else wipe my ass! The opportunity for everything that I have ever wanted is there in front of me right now. I have started making certain changes that I knew I had too; I am finding others that I need to make are a little harder. I know that I have to make it, I didn’t go through all of this to not make it happen, I am too close to putting it all back together, and while it all falls apart around me right now I am going to say fuck it and I am going to keep it together no matter what else is thrown at my way. You see, I think some mother fuckers might have underestimated me and wrote me off because I had pretty much wrote me off. So just in case you misunderstand what I am saying, fuck it is what I am saying. Fuck what I did, fuck feeling bad about it I did that for too long and fuck anything that gets in my way. This time I run thru or right the fuck over whatever gets in my way, this time I do it myself, I do it my way and I live with the consequences, but this pussy over here is dead! I am okay with this, think I will do better in a couple of hours, but I’m okay with this post!

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