My mother’s eyes, the dog’s eyes, my father’s eyes, anybody who’s mattered in my life’s eyes! I can look into all of them and see the disappointment of when does it end and when are you going to matter and do something about it. I used to have the quick one liners, all the coaches, the kids and my friends look to me for the laugh, only thing I have always been good at. Problem is the shit isn’t funny anymore! I quit, I quit believing that I mattered, I quit believing there were consequences to my actions and I quit on everyone and everything that ever mattered. Every question has already been answered save one. How does this end? Four words that matter more than any four words have ever mattered in my entire life. Do I have it in me to end it? Because I thought I did before I quit on myself, nobody else did, they all saw what was possible, I just quit and kept doing what was easy. If you don’t try, then you don’t have to worry about losing or having it shoved in your face, you don’t have to worry about losing a one point game tonight to the team you’re tied with for the last playoff spot, I saw those kids faces tonight. They keep playing down, they keep not showing up with that energy and they let teams they should beat hang around. When you don’t take care of business when you should, then the fourth quarter, the finish line becomes a nail biter that can go either way. But the point is they never quit trying no matter how bad they looked, and when you try and fail it hurts, I saw the looks on their faces, but it should hurt, because it leaves that bad taste in your mouth and it makes you want it that much more. It makes it that much sweeter when you get it, so its ShowTime sweetheart, David Slayed Goliath, people beat cancer they shouldn’t every single day, so why not you and why not now? More importantly, I think I have almost made it through this entire post without cussing, holy crap batman, that ish never happens. Against all odds, I guess some people really can change and maybe this old dog is in need of learning some new tricks! The bad taste at this point is too much to wash away, so I guess I might want to do something about that princess. I’ve talked myself and my life into circles, it’s time to act my way out of them….