Happy New Year…..

I’m Done, The Road Ran Out, So I Guess I Better Stop Running!

Don’t even know what the fuck I am running from anymore, myself for sure, the piece of shit I have become, blah blah pussy, do something about it. Story of my life, new year, new chance to piss it all away it would seem, because I am starting to look good again, but what the outside hides is what lies within and what lies within is as I said a piece of shit. What do you do when you run out of road? Run out of answers and bullshit excuses to their questions, what happens when there is nothing left but do or die. I said Christmas and it has passed, but it doesn’t mean by February first that I can’t have this mother fucker figured out, I have no choice, and I have too. If I leave it like this, what will my legacy be? What will I leave behind? The nothing that my life has become, people want action, the farther along I make it in life, the more I realize people will only buy it for so long. It sounds and looks good, but when it comes down to doing it, making it really happen and follow through, I have cried wolf to long and this time there is nobody to save me but myself! I have to figure out how to be the super hero, I seem to show up when everybody else needs me, I give money that I don’t even have, but the one thing I have never done is figure out how to beat myself and be the Clark Kent of my own life! This I know going into the New Year for sure, it won’t ever change like this. It won’t ever get better, I probably won’t die tomorrow, I will live and survive, but all I will get is the mediocrity that I have excepted and now I can’t accept any of this, shit has to change and the change has to be me, not anything else that I have tried to blame my actions on. I have to leave the past in the past, look at all the good things that I have in front of me and quit running down a road that has run out of pavement, because I am running out of time to save my life…..

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