Damn, the Dam Broke!

Worst Part Is, I Don’t Think I Give A Fuck!

It would appear I have gone 2Pac and said fuck the world, because shit I never thought I could possibly do I am doing and it aint good shit. Thought there was no way that I could do anything worse than I already had short of rape and murder and come to find out what a gem I am and I even proved myself wrong! I haven’t written lately, I haven’t given a shit about anything and yesterday I did one of the most scumbag things in the world you can do that I never thought possible of myself. I had sex with two different women who are both awesome and believe me in less than a twelve-hour period. I used to cringe when I heard friends say shit like that, what made me think this was okay and who cares if one will never know about the other, what a fucking piece of shit pig man, what the fuck is a matter with me. I also got steroid pills, that’s right, sitting with them on my desk right now staring back at me and taunting me. Spare me that speech, I am the first one to take shots at roiders and now listen to me preach. Well fuck Calvin Harris, I think that there is no doubt that you can blame this one on me. Letting it all fall apart like I always have, now twenty-four hours away from d-day, the day where I said it happens or I have to walk away, but it would appear I walked away a long time ago. I have been living the past year pining for something that dropped me on my ass and in the end showed their ass and I would have been better for it, but it has taken me a year to figure out it didn’t matter and now it feels like I have no clue what I am living for. Myself? All the people who hung on and didn’t let me completely fall off, the raw raw pump yourself up bullshit aint getting it anymore, something has to pop Jack, and there he is Jack is back, but Coby is busy burying himself! It goes down any fucking way I want it to go down, and on what would have been that amazing little girls eleventh birthday, I realize she is Heaven, I still made a promise I have no choice to follow through on. I have pissed too much away, broken far too many promises to far too many important people, but I don’t have time to give a fuck about what doesn’t matter anymore, I have to find a way out man, I have to somehow, someway, I don’t give a fuck if it kills me follow through for once in my life, because it is all riding on a promise I made to do better that could change it all……

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