So Burnt!

What A Mucking Fess!

Feels like I am fucking drowning, and that song by Mr. Probz is bullshit, my face ain’t even close to above the water. I am drifting away as the song would go on to say and as my friend said to me today, what is wrong with you. You can’t be Debbie Downer, you have to fake it until you make it and Joel Osteen said the same damn thing, you can only fake it for so long until shit gets old and not only is shit getting old, but I am too. Fuck man, how did anybody ever put up with me, I fucking suck so bad man, I hate everything that I have let myself become and I don’t know what the fuck to do about it. I say I want to change, and I do a lot of good things, but boy when I let the douche bag come out, it comes the fuck out in full force. Sorry about my language in these posts, it is just another thing I need to work on, man what a mucking fess my life has turned out to be! As I scroll through four, yeah I said fucking four text messages that all basically say why? You are really cute and were such a nice guy and then you just disappear, do I even get a why? Lol, pretty much word for fucking word what I said to the one who did me wrong and here we are again Simba with that circle of life and what goes around comes around! I can’t even laugh anymore man at how laughable the shit that I let go on is and in the end I am the mother fucker who created it all and now as I write this I realize I am talking to myself! One of my biggest fears as I love my Father and he isn’t crazy, but he definitely talks to himself out loud for sure and sometimes that shit looks kind of crazy! I get the role I have to play, I am my Grandfather, that addict who pushed every fucking limit until he got to sixty and he couldn’t push anymore so he bit the bullet! Fuck man I have to snap out of it, I don’t have time for this funk that I find myself in, I have nine days to figure out how the fuck to be Superman and save my life, because right now it’s a real mucking fess bro……

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