The Calm Before The Storm!

The Calm Before The Storm!

Its go time, its past go time, but it is all I got, the two weeks in front of me that make or break me. What used to break me doesn’t anymore; I have found a way to be better than it, so now I must find the strength to move the fuck on with it already. I am having fun again finally, but it is still all about to go to shit and I am standing in the middle of it moving in slow motion watching the life I hate play out in front of me and the life I want play out in my head! No quick fix, no hiding behind addictions or fake smiles, because faking it until you make it just aunt getting it anymore Jack and who is this Jack guy anyway? You can do some many things if you chose to and it starts with getting out of bed, because this is the calm before the storm. It can’t, literally can’t get any worse, yeah fuck you I said it, and I have been down as far as I am willing to go. I am coming back swinging and shoving shit down mother fucker’s throats, I can move the fucking mountain in front of me in the two weeks I have to do it if I dedicate myself. How bad do I want it, because even though some shit has become fun again, doesn’t mean that this shit sucks and at this point after what I have let go on, I have no choice but to do it for what little pride I have left. I can’t look in the fucking mirror anymore, how sad is that shit, at thirty seven years old I look the best I ever have in my entire life and I worked for that shit, busted my ass and I can’t even look at it because I am too disappointed in what I see in those eyes. I could be a leader, I could change shit for the better over fucking night, but I choose to play down, because just getting by is okay as long as you are just getting by, but what happens when you want more than just getting by? I forgot for a second that I am the fucking man and I am only missing the one piece I am afraid to pull off the closet floor because it exposes me. I forgot when I walk in the building with my shoulders back; people listen, when you start looking people in the eye again because you can because you aren’t stoned out of your mind, shit starts changing. Time to do what must be done, time to face it, because there is no more time to run, the calm is over and the storm is approaching!

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