On The Fly Bad Guy!

I Just Hate To Be The Bad Guy!

Fuck man having that Eminem moment right now! When you start to actually pull it off and now people are looking at you like what’s next. You have to do better, you have to be bigger and fuck man I am still trying to put all this shit back together on the fly, riddle me that shit. But once you start to do it, what you did the day before isn’t ever going to be as good as what they expecting you to do today! Backs to the wall, stacking all the chips up this time and cashing those bitches in, I have been sitting on my moment for too long and not doing something about it. Today all those odds that I stacked against myself just don’t seem as high as they did yesterday, and let’s be honest this is where it ends. This is where I do or let it die, this is where I pull of the promise I made to that six-year-old little girl at her casket, this is where I make all my dreams happen or I have to walk away, yeah I hate to be the bad guy, but I left myself no choice. The bad guy is the only guys who has ever got it done for me and so fuck it away we go; I will be him why not? The only times I get shit done is when I don’t give a fuck and realize it was never out of reach the only mother fucker who put it out of reach was me. Six months ago some bitch destroyed me and I let her, I couldn’t face relatives and I lost my best friend because of my actions and his daughter is the one I made the promise too. Six months later there are signs that the girl may have made the wrong choice, and that feels good, but I could never go back to that, I aint perfect, but don’t ever let someone who took your heart for granted walk back in. Six months later I have talked and started the ball rolling with my best friend and tonight cousins who I grew up with and made memories with sat in the same living room with me tonight watching the football game and telling one of their sons some of the things that we used to do. So forgive me if I quit listening to you tell me what the fuck I can and can’t do, I been telling myself that I can’t for too long. Funny thing happened when I quit running and chose to face it, shit got better and people forgave! People are only looking for two things, what the fuck did you learn? And what the fuck are you going to do about it? I just hate to be the bad guy, but in the next month it is all on the tips of my fingers, it feels like I have been born again and the fire in my heart and the burning in my blood tells me the struggle is almost over. That break is coming, but I have to make that break, I have to approach it with the right attitude and I have to be ready for it this time. So today with eighteen minutes left of Thanksgiving I am thankful for second chances……

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