I’m Such A Douche Bag!
Did whatever and took whatever and said whatever and hurt whoever just to get high. It’s called being and addict and it is what you do when you come to the point that the high is all that matters. Man this cough a month and a half later after quitting weed sure reminds me that it wasn’t worth it. Name any shitty, shady underhanded thing that you can short of rape and murderer and I am your man. Fuck I can put on a show, every single one of them think that I am the guy they want to take home to mom and dad and fuck I look it and talk it. Some of them literally can’t wait to run me down the aisle I put on such a great dog and pony show. Former drug addict still addicted to being and addict, only good at one thing and that one thing I have found is not telling the truth. Guess it is time to get down and dirty and start playing in the dirt, because this shit has buried me long enough. That isn’t even close to it all, but why go on about what a fantastic douche bag I am and how badly I suck. I know it and so does everyone else, but yet they all still seem to find the good in me now and the good I could do. The good I could do has gotta start being the fucking good I do. This shit is old, capable of doing so much and doing so much is like the difference between Seattle and New York it seems like and now all the bright lights of Broadway are shining down on me waiting for that move. I could make it tomorrow when I wake up, I could pull it off and put it in play and a week from now I might not have to talk about it anymore, I might just pull it off. Every fucking dog has his day and I haven’t had mine yet and I think I have earned my stripes and paid my dues so why the fuck cant my day be tomorrow or soon? I might as well get the ball rolling, if it isn’t tomorrow I have to make it happen soon, as I said I have wants that have become needs and I need to finish this shit and I need to fix me. Should be simple right? The only thing wrong with me is me and I have known that forever so why not fix it right. Seems about as impossible as finding the Easter Bunny or running into Santa Claus at the local Red Robin! But somehow it has to happen and it has to happen now, if I let it go down how it is about to go down, I will go down with it and fall apart. I am tired of being a douche bag, so here it is, guess I better take my one shot and my one opportunity Eminem!