No Clue!

Finally Coming To Terms With It! Or At Least The Best I Can!

“I’m moving on at last I can see, life has been patiently waiting for me and I know threes no guarantees but I’m not alone. There comes a time in everyone’s life, when all you can see are the years passing by and I have made up my mind that those days are gone!” I’ve simply wasted my life on it, regret that is. I have let it overwhelm me and swamp me over to the point where I had to lose everything. What if there is no point to anything that I am doing and I am just getting older and wasted every chance I had. What if there is nothing to pull off? What if I am starting to not believe my own you got to believe and you got to have hope rah rah bullshit. What happened to the watching Lauren Hill fight and never give up when they say the cancer will take her by the end of the year. There comes a time that song from Rascal Flatts says and that time has come. I don’t like it, it hurts so badly and it probably will for a while, but tonight I realized finally it has run its course. There is nothing I could do to save it now even if I wanted to, the time for saving has long since passed and the moving into the picking up the pieces stage is all that is left. I got burnt, who the fuck doesn’t right? I chose to fan the flames though, I had the choice to get down to business and I could have taken a fire hose to those mother fuckers and put them out! Seems like my whole life the only thing I been good at is starting shit and then walking away and not finishing it, not the type of thing you want to list on your dating profile! I’ve tried sober vie tried drinking and I have tried to be strong and for sure had moments of weakness, but this has to end before it ends me which is what I fear is near. And I have to quit talking about it and do something about it, fuck man listen to me, oh whets that you have? Yeah I sound like a whoa is me pussy, yeah I was kind of thinking the same thing too. Maybe if I started to be and actor in my own life I might be able to become a factor in how it plays out in the end! But all of those decisions are up to me now that I have finally come to terms with it the best that I can!

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