“I Got A Chance To Do Something Right, And I Got To Take It.”
Some movie that is coming out I caught the end of the trailer said that and I thought awe how poetic I think I am going to puke. I played scared, I was more afraid of failing then putting myself out there so I didn’t and I let it all pass me by. Numb to it all now, thinking that this thing called life maybe never will kick in and wasting one more day in what I think is now Wyoming just isn’t getting it done anymore. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me anymore and trying to figure it out has only gotten more frustrating, battle scars remind us, but the reminders aren’t enough apparently as I keep doing the same things my friends. This tonight is how it is going to go down and how it is going to end. I for once in my miserable fucking life have a chance and a choice. I have got a chance to do something right and I have got to take it. I have to believe that I can change myself and my life, that I can make a difference that the only reason it ended here is because I let it end here and I can kick start this bitch and finish it all for once and all. That I have a say and I do matter, that I always did matter but I chose to be lazy and get passed over and not matter and now all that matters is I make it all matter. That I take that shot, not for revenge, payback is a bitch though and I want to see the looks on all those mother fuckers faces who laughed and wrote me off and told me that I wasn’t good enough and I couldn’t do it, because I promise you I could and I am! I made to many promises that I walked out on and now I have to walk back in and face what I did it is the only way that I can ever fulfill all of those promises that I always intended to keep and am going to keep this time. To the people who never left my corner, for the people who took the shots and for a six year old little girl in Heaven who I know without a doubt after all I did never left my corner, I have to be better. I doubted myself and as I said I played scared and while I was busy chasing my tail being a pussy and playing scared my life started passing me by and that life I want it back, so I have this one chance to finally do something right in my life and I have to take it. I have to give up all the bullshit this time, really give it up not just talk about it, I have to do the one thing I have never done my entire life and follow through and make it happen and I might just be crazy enough to think that I can pull it off, why the hell no, I got on chance to get this right and tonight I decided to take it and tomorrow I won’t be the same. I won’t cut corners I won’t let I got time or there is tomorrow get in the way, this chance, this one opportunity is going to change everything…….