Pay Attention, This One Could Change Your Life!
First off let me tell you this. It will fucking get better, please hold on. Today was one of those days that I thought would never come and then it did. It wasn’t getting over a girl or doing something that I thought I couldn’t do, it was something that I never thought I was going to be able to do again. Remember a few months back I wrote a post about wishing I could just have a beer with my best friend? Six months ago, I was trying and I didn’t even realize how badly I was fucking up, I hurt his wife and I hurt his family and I wasn’t allowed to talk to him for the last six months. That same week, because I didn’t have my shit together, the one who I was going to marry chose some douche bag with a boat. I would lie in bed and shake, if I ate I would puke, I simply started falling apart! I was so sure it was all over; I was so sure how it was going to go down that I wrote myself off. Today as I sat in my car hiding on the road from myself, a text came in from a number I didn’t recognize. It said, “Bum is pretty good, congratulations to your Giants, they’re pretty good.” No way, not after what I did. But while I don’t have most numbers memorized, this one stuck out, I could feel it. I said thank you, I think I know who this is, but if you are talking to me you must be divorced lol. Let me tell you this, forgiveness when you don’t deserve it is the best thing in the world let me tell you that! When you fuck up so bad you are so certain of something and then one text, one moment can show you that maybe you aren’t the piece of shit that you thought you were. That you can still do something about it, that it isn’t too late, the only person who ever thought it was too late was the pussy hiding in the shadows. Maybe some doors I had closed and had thought written me off haven’t I gotta move on from some things, but some of those things I want so badly I may just be able to get back! Yeah I did it, so did you and so do we all at some point, we all fucking step in it. Nobody is immune, but it is what you do directly after that, that everybody is watching and waiting for. That do or die moment where you pick yourself up and you figure out a different way, or you try to walk back in doing it the the same way. Pay attention, because this one could change your life. I thought it was a dead issue, the things his wife rightfully said to me all but told me it was. I guess sometimes when you write yourself off others still are pulling for you and still haven’t. I still had people in my corner that I thought for sure had left and were never coming back and they were there the whole time, they never left. Time to be Coby, time to follow through and change some shit for once, forgiveness can recharge you it can take you to places you never thought possible and maybe I didn’t deserve it, but I am going to use it to take this bitch to the next level!