It’s A Little Too Late to Say that you’re Sorry Now!
Once the weed wore off and I snapped back to reality, not only did I see for the first time in a long time the blue in these eyes, but I saw something else. Bitch I saw that I was worth it too, I saw that I was more than worth it and quite a few people right now would love to have me around. Love to have what they think is me around anyways! Between the holes in my apologies and alibis for stories that I could never write the end for, I lost myself. I got bitter and I got angry and I hid behind it, because that was easier than doing something about it and what is left sits here at thirty-seven on the run. Today as kids ran for their lives from bullets in my home state, I saw the blue in my eyes. I saw why I smoked the pot for so long and why people drink and do worse drugs, this fucking world that we live in sucks and worse the fuckheads running it are the worst of the worst. It is wake up and be afraid of this and don’t eat that and polar bears are dying and this person that you are supposed to trust is lying and so on. I am going to do it, I have it in me to change shit, I have that one shot still that I think can change it all and shock the world and why not? It is a little too late to say that you are sorry now for the way that you treated me. All that is left is for you to see that you should have treated me better and I will end up better off for the way you kicked me when I was down. For the way you weren’t sorry and didn’t care at the time, but now you want to. Nobody cares after the fact after the moment has passed. We have the three C’s in this life and when Choices are made by someone to let the moment pass, Chances are that you better Change course before you let it consume you like I did! It won’t kill you I promise you that, it only has the power that you give it. Remember the people who were there for you when you were falling apart and crying about it, the ones that got you to this point and were strong for you when you couldn’t be. It is time to be strong now and pay them all back. Nobody holds the key to your happiness but you and you decide it trough your Choices and you must decide what has Changed you and what you must Change! But I promise you will survive this if you hold on, five months ago it ripped my guts out, a little over a month ago, my closest friend was talking me off the ledge in tears telling me we all fuck up what are you going to do about it and now a month later I realize it will always hurt, but it won’t always kill me and I am over it. It is a little too late to say you are sorry now, walk when you should, accept what you can’t change and move on with your life, some people you don’t need and as the saying says the others will catch up if they are meant to be!