We All Lose Sometimes, It’s Called Paying Dues!

We All Lose Sometimes, It’s Called Paying Dues!
I have lost over and over again, but it will lead me to succeeding one day I promised myself that. I ran myself into the ground, hurt and embarrassed myself and those closest to me in ways that I never thought possible, I have paid dues for sure. So it really has led me to one conclusion, I have to do something about it. I have to be the one to put it all on my shoulders and pull it off, it always has me, but while I was whining about paying my dues, I wasn’t paying attention to the lesson. Paying those dues taught me who I was and maybe it took me a little longer to learn than everyone else because I am a stubborn bastard. Maybe I fucked up a lot along the way, but the ones who picked me up and didn’t turn their backs on me, they are about to get paid back in spades! How are you going to let it go down? They all see what you are capable of, some of them have even said they are envious of the ability I have and what do I do with it? I didn’t survive the drugs, the car wreck and all of the stupidity to keep acting stupid. At some point you keep doing stupid and good or life rubs you out and Biggie Smalls said it best, “I don’t wish death on anybody, because there ain’t a coming back from that.” How much longer do I think I can keep thumbing my nose at it before it gets really bad? How much longer do I think I can hold it together before I fucking lose it and think that rubbing me out is a good idea? Tired of paying dues, we all lose sometimes but we must learn when we lose or we just continue to pay dues and life is about a whole lot more than paying dues! Figure out what matters and figure out what is just a waste of time. I wasted too much time on someone who was a piece of shit and I started becoming the piece of shit they wanted me to be and I almost compromised myself, but life, God or the Easter Bunny did me a favor and now all that matters is what I do with that favor!

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