When Time Runs Out And It All Falls Apart.
Time my friend is running out, not just on what you want to have, but on some of the people that you love the most as they age and may never see grandkids. What mattered, getting high and the party have given away to sadness out here on the road and all the things I missed man. All the things I missed because I was hiding from myself! A man can tell a thousand lies or so the song goes, but he can’t lie to himself forever. It kills me what I have lost, it gets so hard to hide it and fight it, I want to pretend and believe as I said earlier that it will be okay and that there is some silver lining in all this, but tonight it just hurts. It hurts a lot apparently as I have been pretty good and happy overall and now tears falling down my face and a heavy heart for tonight what I know is lost, I have hidden it well, but tonight it is all boiling over. God damn it man and sorry lord, but what the fuck did I do to me life, I had so many things that people would die for. So many opportunities and now it is all just getting old and once you start getting old, nothing is guaranteed! Hell nothing is guaranteed anyway. Where to go and what the move is, that is what matters now. I thought I knew what the move was, but what if I am wrong? I have been wrong plenty times before, who is to say that I am not wrong this time! Sometimes, time makes things worse, not better. Yeah the people who say it take time, but what if it takes more than time? What if it changed you and you liked the way you felt and you are worried that you may never feel that way again? And I could go on and on with the ifs and what might of beens, tonight it feels like time is running out and it is all falling apart. I will try to pick myself back up off the floor of this Jetta and get my shit straight again, my apologies, I guess that we all have those nights man. Just try not to have them too many timesJ!