God I wanted to tonight, if only for a second go back down that road! It gets lonely fighting yourself and trying to find yourself on the road. But I’ve found the feeling after is worse than anything facing you now! I’ve realized that when you give into it, you empower it and the worst thing in the world by far is to be defeated by yourself! Don’t question it, you can’t! I am living proof of what living a life defeated can cost you! What has living life the way you have chosen to live cost you? I know what it has cost me, but today I chose to fight, what choice did I have? I was about to fail, I was about to have to tuck the tail and run back home with my tail between my legs! Simply I was about to lose it all and this time it looked real bad and out of nowhere like I said, I caught a Hail Mary! A hail Mary, a miracle, they don’t mean shit if you don’t back them up and put action behind them! I’m tired of leaving myself in the wind, I’m tired of moments of the past I want back crossing my mind! For fuck sake I should have grabbed ahold of them when they were mine, but now those moments have passed and dwelling on them only lets more of your life pass you buy! It comes down to the work you put in and if you show up and perform when your called out! Yeah every now and then I try not to think about what might have been. It’s a Little Texas song and a line in my favorite Tim McGraw song. “Well you do what you do and you pay for your sins and there’s no such thing as what might have been, it’s a waste of time, drive you outta your mind!