Same Day, Different Year!

In the end it wasnt running from the girl or the things I did or Olympia itself, I was running from myself. To many years had passed on the calendar and it was the same day over and over again, and that shit is only funny in the movies. I wouldn’t knock it off there, all of the bullshit and things that I knew I shouldnt have been doing and did anyway!  You see I said in and earlier post I was going to make us all look in the mirror, so here it goes. At least there was mercy for me she blew me off in a text, I lead a lamb to the slaughter over and over again when I did it, because I wasnt honest. While I was making promises to a six-year-old girl who meant the world to me at her casket about being better, what did it matter when I’m picking up girls I could care nothing about on the internet? You see the calendar the seasons, all of it will change, but you wont you will keep living the same day in just a different year! You can’t tell your son to respect woman and then go upstairs and turn on the porn it doesn’t work. You can’t say it, you have to live it, life is lived in the third part. Everyone can see the two sides of you, but you are made in the third part. The part where it all goes down and you decide what kind of man or woman you are going to be. When nobody is around to see it and you can get away with it, what do you do? I always did it and thought I got away with it, because in reality I did, but in my head! Yeah you never really get away with it in your head and as the years change and the days don’t, you start to and you start to get hardened and old and bitter and sorry to say it ugly! I have decisions in front of me to do the right thing or what I want to do and what feels right! We all have to look in the mirror and we all have to lay in the bed we make at the end of the night, the worst thing you can do is talk it and not live it I can tell you that first hand. You open yourself up to take the hits, but you can change it with one move. I had and option today to do the wrong thing and hit me up about six months ago, I would have done it. But today I stand here a man with a different attitude, a man who will be better than the person he was before! I stand here changed for the first time in my life I can feel it in my blood, I am going to be alright and this time I am going to beat it. Because a week ago I quit living the same day I have been living for the last sixteen different years!

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