I realize it now, hell as I look at this cow in Wisconsin a thousand miles from home, I realize that I probably realized it a long time ago! Realizing it is the easy part, almost a month sober you realize a lot of things. The first thing you realize is that realizing it is easy, that doing it part is the hard part. That saying has never been more true to me than now, “if it was easy, everybody would do it.” But not everybody can take the hit, a lot of people have more quit in them than fight and that is a choice they have yo live with! This I know, I can’t live with it anymore, the way it is and the way it is going down! I guess the good thing is I realize that while it is going down that way, it hasn’t completely gone down that way yet and most importantly! It hasn’t taken me down with it this time, I have come to a crossroads I should of a long time ago! I realize the only thing left to do is to do it, throw it in the ring and lay down the cards and see what happens, because I realize something else to. Time is not my friend and life is passing me by!