That is the only question in my life that matters now! Fuck it, time to have a little fun with it, that is what it is all about anyway, and somehow I am going to make it through this post without cussing! Ready? Go! The question that gets to the heart of the matter is simple, when are you going to forgive yourself for it? I have finally reached that point where I am over it and it doesn’t hurt anymore, that point where I am not feeling sorry for myself anymore, no I am in a much better place now, for once in my life! But now the other side of the equation, great I feel better, I have gotten over it, now when the Frick, yeah I typed the F-word and had to go back and erase it. But when the f am I going to get off my ass and do something about the rest of it? Because not this moment now, not the moments I lived in the past doing my dirt, no what matters from here on out is the rest of it! Fun, that is what it is all about now, finding a way to figure it all out while having fun doing it. I thought I was having fun, but I was miserable and I made everyone else around me miserable, yay me. But to many people spend most of their day at a job where they aren’t having fun, I guarantee with what is going on in other parts of the world, there is no fun at all with what they are going through. I beat the F yeah it said well you know, I beat the F out of myself over it, I buried myself alive with it, I watched it destroy myself as I sacrificed my dignity and self-respect and then it all went down and I was the victim! I guess there is no question, I have to get off my ass and do something about it, to many people are saying to many things and running their mouth, Saying I am a liar, saying I am a pussy and a bitch, that I don’t follow through and I will never change, so yeah I have to get off my ass and do something about it. I almost made it, but I have to prove every one of those mother fuckers wrong!