Dealing with your dirt I have found is actually more revealing and relaxing then one would think. When you don’t have to run around day in and day out with the stress of it all, shit gets easier. Things start to happen in your favor, and something happens that hasn’t happened in a long time, you start to feel happy for the first time in a long time! There is no fucking chance I will quit this time, I wont show my face again until I can pull it all together and pull it off. I am almost a month away from Thanksgiving and the holidays and friends and family are what matters and I am here on the road away from it all! I am so emotional because it is all my fault, the shit hole I call life is what I created, ahh this shit is stale, it was so much better just days ago and now it seems like I am writing the same thing over and over again, writers block, tired of shit and the way it is, hell I don’t know, but I know this shit doesn’t get it anymore for sure! Tired of praying and asking for it to happen, tired of this and all of it, done with it, I just done understand any of it anymore, but I do understand this time I have to make it happen. Sorry, ill do better in a minute, I apologize for this one!