I’m tired of it hurting, it shouldnt still affect me, it didn’t as bad as it did before, but when a picture popped up today, it was all I could do not to fall to pieces. I wanted to, but I knew if I did, this time would be worse than all the others and the pieces may never fit back together again, and I can’t risk that. My heart is heavy, I can’t lie to myself anymore, it hurts worse than I want it too, and probably worse than it should at this point, but I just wish somebody would tell me when the pain ends, and life begins! Tell me when it kicks in? Tell me when you have had enough, really had enough, not talking about having enough but really fed up. Tell me where this place of getting tired of yourself and your bullshit is, because tonight on the road for a week and a half now, resources, time and my patience are all running low in Minnesota! It all feels like it could come together tomorrow or spin so far the fuck out of control that I may never be able to find myself again. How? Just three little letters, how does it still affect me? It doesn’t affect me because it was good for me, it affects me because it moved on and I was left behind. Nobody likes to be left behind, but when you force people’s hands, sometimes permanent action is taken against you and now you know one thing for sure without a doubt. You will never be able to go back down certain roads again, no matter how badly you want too, some roads have become dead ends and that is what kills me. Maybe they wouldn’t of, but my inaction led to dead ends sign being posted and driving down a dead-end leads you well! Somehow I must find a way, it hurts, but a picture could pop up, when I do go back I am going to see and have to deal with some things that I created that I am not going to like or want to deal with. So you told me life must kick in now, I must take this battle scar with me and I have to admit this battle I lost and I have to get ready for the next one or the pain will never stop!