Trying Not To Give In To Me Doubts!

Dont know why and I am not going to waste anymore of my time trying to figure out why, but today, my demons, the doubts were staring me down. Not that quick glance and oh you caught me look away real fast like I wasnt looking look. No this was a straight look me in the eyes, stare me down, saying what are you going to do about it bitch? We have seen what you have done every time before so you can see why we are laughing, that is what the stare says. But I have given into these doubts before, what is to say I wont this time? The raw raw pump yourself up with words you can do it bullshit doesn’t play out in reality, in reality, this car is cold, my back hurts and I am tired of only getting older! Life is once again telling me I can’t, not because I can’t, but because it knows what I have done every other time, so why should anyone including myself believe that it will be any different this time? Yeah those doubts at close to midnight sure feel like they are more than creeping in, they feel a little overwhelming! Life can be overwhelming, what we have done and what we have lost can be overwhelming. Admitting we have to walk away and give up what we don’t want to can damn near kill us it feels like, but fuck it, its worth living. It is worth falling in love, don’t take what the last one did with you to the next one. It is worth hanging out with friends, life is worth showing up for, a week now that I have been on the road. No smarter, no wiser, but at least I have figured one thing out, no fucking way I am giving in to these doubts!

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