To many days for sure, but it can’t go down and it can’t happen like that anymore. Dont ever know if I will ever get wiser, but older for sure, I don’t know any other way than to push the limits. “All this time I was trying to find myself and I didn’t know I was lost.” Maybe I am not lost, we all get there in different ways, the point is getting there. We all choose our own path, it is what makes this world unique, some of us take the easy way in the beginning and at thirty-seven have to play catch up, but fuck it I am trying. No more days with nothing to show for it. I was left to my own devices works two ways you know that don’t you? It all depends on how you look at it and how you choose to act! Which devices will win? The addictions and the pain and the hurt and bitterness? Or the ability that you have in you to quit worrying about what you did and change it all? Nobody cares what you did, we all do are dirt, everybody cares about what you do! So pay attention, because everybody else is and they are waiting for you to make a move. They have been waiting for a long time, so don’t you think that it is about time to put it in play and see what happens? I can tell you for sure what happens if you don’t, another day falling away with nothing to show. And you have had to many of those, so how many more do you think that you can have before it buries you? Whatever it is in front of me I want it now more than I am afraid of being exposed for the addict who didn’t give a shit about anything or anyone and did as he pleased, I am paying for it and I will continue to pay for it, but I don’t have to let it keep destroying me. I don’t have to let what I did keep burying me, because what I am about to do can pull me out of this 5’11 hole I am in! Most of you should get that, no more days falling away with nothing to show…….