That was going to be the title. I was going to go off on the bitterness and anger we harbor and how all of the worst things in life really do come fee. Addictions, and the two things I said before, come to us for free, but cost us everything in the end, so be careful my friends, but today I made a different choice. Today I quit worrying about it and realized it will happen. I realized if I put all that energy I have been using worrying about if and when it will happen into making it happen, it can happen overnight! The best things in life come free too, hugs from your kids and love, and I know in the end love sometimes ends up costing us all of it, but I have loved and lost and this life is not worth going through without love. As that Garth Brooks song I was talking about earlier says, there is no pill to fix us, we have to fix us ourself. The hardest thing you can ever do is fix yourself. You wont find the answer in the bottom of a bottle or a cloud of smoke, and that pill you are about to crush up and snort. Definitely take a few months off of your life for that one. I fear it more now than I fear being exposed and falling on my face again. I fear not being what I could be, I fear fading away and nobody caring, I fear a lot of things, scared of the unknown and what is in front of me, but we made a choice today. We are more afraid of not being what we could be, than anything that is against us. In a world so full of hurt and anger and ugliness, I have to be the enemy of it all, I have to show all those who took the path that I did, that you can come out the other side okay. I have to let them know it is okay to fuck up, sometimes we fuck up so bad we think that we can’t recover. Get the fuck out of your own mind for fuck sake, you can change and have anything if you choose to be that mother fucker. If you realize it will happen, quit worrying about all the outside bullshit that keeps getting in your way and put your head down and do it. Utah sucks, sorry Utah, but yeah this isn’t the place for me, time to hit the road again, be careful, I promise you the worst things in life come free and one of the worst is at thirty-seven hitting the road to try to find yourself, when everything you want is behind you!