I’m All Out Of Cons!

Words, excuses and how I am going to pull it offs went by the wayside a long time ago. In the end I was only conning myself, pushing myself further from what I was supposed to be. People bought it at first, but it only takes a couple of months in to see through my con and my bullshit. Even the best liars can’t keep it up forever, somebody bigger and badder will always call your bluff. Mine has been called many times and I have simply never been able to answer the call and now what is left of me I am not sure can continue this fight! It in the end might be time to walk away from it all and make a change and make a move. I can’t lay down, I don’t have time to take a break or lay down and quit again, it might be time to move on. It might be time to admit it has grown stale here and here is keeping me well here. There is more out there for me and I keep coming back to that line in a T.I.s song live your life. “Some move away to make a way not move away because they are afraid”. I am afraid, afraid if I stay here and don’t make a move that it all fades away and what is left of me fades away with it. I am that close to pulling it off or fading away. Not time for the con anymore, I am all out of the lies and the bullshit that have carried me here. I am afraid if I stay here I will take that fall that nobody wants to take, I can’t shake all the shit I have done here, I can’t shake that it was all my fault, and I can’t con myself into believing that it is okay anymore when I know it is not! Danger will Robinson, I have been perpetrating this con for so long, I am not sure if I can tell the difference between con man and Coby anymore. When you are full of shit, you start to lose yourself and you start to believe and become the bullshit. Everything that you could  be fades away and what is left is staring back at you in the mirror at thirty-seven. Unable to deny anymore how pathetic you have come, all you have done weighing you down like a ton of bricks, and your one stable, your one go to, the con and running your mouth has run out. No quick answers for this problem this time, I am all out of cons, I am haunted by it all, it is time to throw it all in the car and walk away and see what life holds for me, I have put life on hold to long!

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