Yeah I didn’t like the fucking way the first one turned out so lets hit reboot and try again! Except for some reason, I don’t have it today. Some days I guess you just have to shut it down and take a break, except I don’t have time to shut down and take a break. Fuck feels like I barely have time to breathe anymore, it felt like I was on such a roll and now nothing. All the strength I got from letting go and not reacting turned into today and without the weed, here sucks. Here is the mess left over from all that I did and I am trying to figure out where to go from here, fuck I don’t have time for that either. Wasted posts, wasted time and now wasted nights are turning into a wasted life! The ready, set, roll I am going to attack the fuck out of life attitude has given away to what the fuck was I thinking man? You ever been so disappointed in yourself that fuck, I don’t even have words. The weed has been smoked, the choices have been made and the things that matter the most have been pissed away and now I can’t hide behind a bong, I did this and I have to find a way out of this. No more days at the dollar store looking like you belong, you don’t, we all deserve better than that shit, but you have to want it. I don’t have it tonight, I am struggling to pull the words out of my jumbled A.D.D. brain, it has been coming so easily lately but tonight it eludes me. Maybe that is it, maybe I am even closer than I think and this having nothing is just one last gasp by what is against me to stop me. Well I am going to look at it that way at least, now if you will excuse me I have to checkout!