Methods Of A Madman!

It would seem nothing seems to stop me. I am as out of control now as I was fifteen years ago, I do what I want to do and the consequences I leave in the wind. Friends mouths drop when they see the impressive list of woman littered throughout my past, most with the smartass question how? I look great, I talk a great game too, just fall in love with what you think you see and my words and then look like a fool in front of your friends and family for believing in me. You end up with a bottle and a bathroom floor and a whole lot of tears. Yeah maybe I did get dropped on my ass in May, but I was that same fucker, so who am I mad at? I wish I could tell the last two of them for sure just how sorry I am for not being who I was supposed to be and being such a piece of shit. I was there for them and I took care of them and I never cheated on the, but I was a full of shit liar. In the end your word is all you got and mine doesn’t mean shit, just ask anybody, it has become a running joke with my friends, whats the over under on Coby showing? How fucking sad is that? To those friends who havent given up on me completely yet when I have given you every reason too, I thank you. I promised so many things and good intentions just aren’t good enough anymore, you too have taken shots for being my friend, but I wont forget it, To the family members I still can’t face after all I did, yeah about to be going on year number three of cough, cough being sick at Thanksgiving and Christmas. My cousin just had a baby and guess who was the only family member not to go? My other cousin in Reno, havent seen hers and she is 4 or 5??? Yeah, really fucking proud of myself for all I have done to you, I don’t blame you for hating my guts, I do too. Worse the best friend I will probably never be able to talk to again because of choices! Fuck man my methods have to change, some of the things I have done, I am a disgusting person. I have told woman what they want to hear and then when it starts to crack and fall apart, I get mad at them and I make them feel bad for questioning my bullshit. I disappear, I show up to get laid and don’t answer texts for days, you know whenever the fuck I feel like it. How the fuck did this happen man? Everyone says I am a nice guy, I do a lot for people, but oh yeah I get how all this happened. When you are and addict you have to build it all up on bullshit, so that is what I did, and in the end the methods of a madman will simply make you mad!

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