Man You Forget A Lot Of Shit When Your Stoned!

I usually get quick and witty here and then cuss, talk about misplacing the keys six times and some other bullshit that doesn’t matter. It is what I do and what I have done well my entire life, deflect. It is what you do when you get stoned, you do it because it relaxes you and it makes shit more fun right? Until that shit isn’t so fun and your life goes up in smoke. Thirty seven, more looks from girls today, but I can’t fool the mirror, I look great on the outside, but the inside is about as ugly as it gets my friends! Bitch moves or man moves is all that it comes down to now. Funny how I have given it up for the first time in a long time and I look back and it wasnt really all that fun at all, all it did was keep me for and hour or two from remembering just how fucking bad my life fucking sucked. Move still isn’t made, spent the weekend up until late last night smoking it away, and now that I have quit, all I can hope is that im fast enough to play catch up to the life I could have and should have had! I know one thing, nothing good comes of this staying here and continuing on like this, I don’t know what it is, but I know if I don’t quit now like I said and move forward, I have no shot, Shit can change in a second, but not when you talk for a month now about making a move that still lies on the closet floor. And yet moves continue to be made against you! I don’t get it anymore man, no fucking clue, you forget when you are high how much you hate what you have done, how much you hate yourself, how much the fun has been fucking sucked out of life. Yeah I know, spare me the kids in Africa, I promise they will be one of the ones on the list if I ever make it that I will take care of, but doesn’t it suck to know you could have been so much more and you smoked it away? I think it really other than myself may be the one thing that got in the way, in just twenty-four hours it feels like I have more to look forward to than I have in years. I am not sitting here preaching, I am not knocking anybody far from it, I have been, am now and always will be and addict. I like it, I do it, I think about the consequences later in a pot haze and only then do I want to do something about it. Yeah you forget a lot of things when you are stoned, but what I wont for get is the power I felt today when I gave something up that had a hold on me for so long. Winning, defeating something that was defeating you for so long can take you to where you are supposed to be. Might be time to put down the pipe and look in the mirror, whats looking back? Bitch Moves or Major Moves?

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