Stale!

One word that describes  everything that my life has become. Tired of  whining about it, getting tired of trying to figure it out and getting it shoved in my face. Worse, living down at a certain level when you know you are better than that, accepting less of yourself than you are capable of is a dangerous slippery slope. Start accepting it getting shoved down your throat and pretty soon you lose everything, chips on the table this time, all in  on this bitch, this stale bullcrap just isn’t getting it anymore. Stale in my writing, why I pounded a bottle of wine last night, to try to find something. Just seems like the last couple of days I have been complaining and whining about it. Hey, I havent cussed yet in this post, this is usually where I would say something funny with the f-word involved, but my stick has grown stale. My funny guy act because that is all I got has worn thin and I can’t hide behind it anymore. The oh that’s just Coby and blah people except from me just isn’t good enough anymore. I have made mediocre okay, that just isn’t okay and there is no way I will go out mediocre. There is no way I will in the end let people say he could have done so much more. Maybe they can say that and other things now, but in the end I will have a say as to how it goes down and what is said about me. Today may not be my day, but my day is coming and this way I have been living is stale and as I said  last night, I am about to run out of excuses. By tomorrow I will be out of and giving up the one thing I havent been able to beat that has probably kept me here the most other than my own head. Then what? Then you will have a huge frigging problem, then you  will have to deal with a mother f-er who has survived again and beat it and then you and I will both see what I am capable of with nothing in front of me holding me back anymore!  I guess it is welcome to the world, I guess it is time to quit screwing around with the wrong woman and the wrong people and well f-it lets go lets go, because it is the end of this shit show!

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