Those are the two options I got, guess what? Day went to shit and the move is still lying on the closet floor. Guzzling wine and taking hit after hit of pot that I don’t even think gets me stoned anymore has grown stale and old. And while it helps calm me down with the A.D.D, it has absolutely no other fucking benefit! At some point I want to fucking say I made it man. At some point I want to say all the bullshit and the struggle was worth it and finally paid off, I guess I want to say a lot of things. But in order to say any of those things I got a lot of work to do and only one fucking move left to make. Shut down or run this bitch, two options, two paths. Pussy or man, it’s all in play, absolutely nothing that I want is out of play if I am willing to run through that mother fucker and do whatever this time. People have kicked me, laughed at me and called me pathetic, I have had it shoved down my throat, but one day soon I am going to make it, my back may be against the wall now bitches, but it wont be forever. I hope you understand this fucking time shit has changed, I’m not the same person anymore. I am not the pussy who folded every fucking time an gave up, I am about to give up the one thing holding me back and then I wont have any fucking excuses as to why I can’t. Then I will get to see what kind of man I want to be and what the fuck I am made of. I have survived the worst, hell beat death at least once and with the amount of coke I did probably more than once! But you see when I give up the one thing that has kept me here, the last excuse as to why I can’t, whats left? I can and I fucking will this time, I don’t care if that mother fucker is brick I’m going through it. No words, no actions against me no fucking nothing this time is going to stop me, all the chips are on the table and its time to let it ride. This time what is against me wont know what the fuck to do, because every other time I have come back like a bitch and this time I wont be the bitch. This time I have built too much progress towards my future and this time I am going to shut this bitch down and shits going to go my way. Figure out what the fuck you want now and then do whatever the fuck you have to do to get it, doesn’t seem that fucking hard……….