Boy, What A Fucking Liar I Turned Out To Be!

Accepted it, maybe, over it, not a chance in hell. Still playing the same game I’ve lost time and time before, only a fool thinks he can win at this shit! As I sat around waiting for as close to five O clock as I could get I realized why I was doing it. Hoping she would pass me and see me! I look like a million bucks, and I’m a good guy, but who fucking cares, jokes on me! Still the same piece if shit I was back then, so now what? I just saw a Tahoe that I was sure was her and my heart stopped, so now what the fuck do I do! Then it happened, I wasnt over it for a second, I saw her and him walking in our neighborhood and fell completely the fuck apart man. Worse, I decided to check her Facebook page and saw something about bridesmaids and what the fuck you think that did to me? Friends convincing me I deserve better and I am in amazing shape and blah fucking blah mean nothing, my world is falling apart around me again, I tied it all to something I will never have again and now I don’t know why but I cant seem to pick myself the fuck up. Tonight I want to go off the rails, tonight I want to lose it and just fucking cry, yeah what a liar I turned out to be, I could just quit. But quitting is what I have always done and fuck I have to believe as bad as this hurts and as much as I am letting it kill me tonight that it only gets this bad right before it gets better. So if I don’t let it kill me, then I will probably survive!

Advertisements
Standard

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s