I’ve battled with it, I have struggled and gone back and forth with it a thousand times, and no matter how much I don’t want to admit it, it is finally over now. Sometimes are inaction and choices have put us in a position where we just can’t fix it, there has just been too much damage. When a car gets in a wreck, it is up to the insurance adjuster to decide if it is totaled or if it can be fixed, and sometimes in life you just gotta know when to send it to the junkyard. I keep bitching about my problems, my only problem is me, I have every weapon I need, now I need to get the hell out of my way! I can’t stay here defeated anymore, I physically cant do it, I have run myself into the ground over something that long ago chose something else and even if I could have it back, I couldn’t, too much damage has been done. Driving around a car that isn’t safe is like a ticking time bomb, so is holding on to something that long ago let go of you. Sometimes you just have to admit no matter how much it mattered to you, it didn’t mater to them and it was obvious by the way they treated you and now you both have to live with the consequences of your actions. Hardest thing to probably do in the world is live with the consequences of our actions and learning how to accept them and move on from them. Acceptance is everything in figuring out once and for all it was finally over now! I have to quit playing this game like I have time to get it done. I see friends kids getting older, I see white picket fences, I see everything that I want and I see everyone else with it and that kills me. That part of my life is finally over now, I am past it and I lied it will leave a scar, but scars are kind of cool and they may last forever, but they tell us where we have been, they don’t define who we are and where we are going!