A Dear John Letter, To My Past!

I’m sorry, in the end I really didn’t want too, I didn’t want it to go down this way, but whats done is done. I wanted to take your father to dinner, give him a bottle of scotch, and ask him for your hand in marriage. I wanted to look into your eyes on a beach in Hawaii with our families and friends and change your last name to Thomas. I wanted little Caiden Lee and little Kylie Arlene! You will always have a piece of my heart, and a part of me in the back of my mind will always wonder, but you are my past and tonight you are done killing me. I’m sorry your daughter died at six, and I was so glad I could be there for you like you had always been for me. I am sorry I couldn’t pay the money back in time, but I did, I am sorry I took your friendship and your family after all you did for me for granted. I wish you  were there standing next to me as my best man, next to that beautiful girl in Hawaii, but whats done is done! To my mother and father who raised me so much better than this and I have brought you nothing but pain and nothing to be proud of, I wanted those grand kids. I wanted you to retire at sixty, and I had the whole plan in place, until I wanted to get high more than I wanted a life. But whats done is done, the drugs, the decisions and now the consequences, so tonight I leave my past here, never to go down that road again, I can’t, it will simply destroy me and I know it. So here it goes…


Dear John,

No let’s be honest, dear Mr. Thomas, time to listen to what your heart is saying that little voice in your head is a liar. Give it up and grow a pair, what you are waiting around on gave up on you a long time ago, and how much fucking longer do you think you can live in the past? Dear Mr. Thomas, all that is in the past, and while most of your decisions have been terrible, don’t forget you’re a pretty good guy and a lot of people would say you do a lot of good, I guess it is all in the eye of the beholder. Dear Mr. Thomas, for once step up, give up the weed and the excuses and the why you can’t and watch what the fuck happens this time, Dear life, here I come win, lose or draw, nah fuck lose or draw, lets win this bitch, because were still in this bitch, shit hasn’t changed, the enemy and what against us is the same, but Dear John, I have a feeling were a little different this time. I got a feeling this time, the enemy may not know what it is up against, I have a feeling this time it may have underestimated us a little bit and this I can tell you, the most powerful person in the world is the one who has been overlooked and shit on, because you never see him coming!


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